


Dearest PenPal

by DLanaDHZ



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pen Pals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-02
Updated: 2009-10-02
Packaged: 2017-11-23 20:43:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 27,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/626336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DLanaDHZ/pseuds/DLanaDHZ
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of letters sent between two people who have never met before. A genius scholar and a rich boy with a hidden talent. Will Arthur and Merlin ever get past pretenses?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You Had Me From Hello

**Author's Note:**

> Banner by Arirawrs on LiveJournal.

 

Dear new penpal,

My name is Merlin Emrys. I live in the United States of America. I'm 18 years old and live in a big city. I grew up in a small town, but moved to the city to start college. I am currently a junior at my university. They told us to tell you two interesting facts about us, so here I go. I am three years ahead of my grade in school, and I'm working to cure cancer. If those aren't interesting – I have a cat named Dragon and I ask him for advice all the time.

I'm excited about starting this letter relationship. I've never had a penpal before. I hope we can become at least good acquaintances. Write back soon, my friend.

_Merlin_

\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Merlin,

If countries were people, the United States of America would be a self-absorbed tosser wearing an over exaggerating speedo and showing off medically perfected abs and teeth. They'd be stupid too.

You're a child, and you're a super-genius freak. Why would anyone want to jump into school with people three years and older than them? We will never be friends. You're an idiot.

Cancer is a stupid goal. Why don't you try something more doable, like fixing world hunger? You're an idiot.

You talk to animals? I'll be sure to call you next time Ace Ventura is unavailable. You're an idiot.

Penpals are overrated, as I'm sure you're realizing. Were you forced to do this or did you do it voluntarily?

_New Penpal_

P.s. You're an idiot.

\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Dear New Penpal,

You're an asshole.

_Merlin_

\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Merlin,

I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship.

_Arthur  
_


	2. Paint Yourself a Picture, When you Waste Another Picture

Merlin,

My name is Arthur Pendragon. I am twenty years old and have enough credits to almost be in my junior year of your universities. I am considered high achieving and above my level, but not nearly as high as you appear to be. I live in a city just outside of London in the United Kingdom – or England as you Americans prefer. London is too expensive to live in. I'm sure you understand to some degree, or I would hope you know that much.

I have two dogs named Orion and Pleiades. I'm about to get a cat. Any ideas for names? My father is a business tycoon and owns a lot of people's ~~souls~~ jobs. It really does make me upset when he talks about closing down a business as though nothing bad will happen. We have plenty of money, so we won't get affected, but the people who work at those companies need those jobs. Sometimes I just think my father is too cruel.

Understand, I'm only telling you this because you live in America. If you write to my father or anyone else and he finds out I said anything, I will come to America and hunt you down. All joking aside.

_Arthur_

\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Dear Arthur,

So you're a _rich_ asshole.

Isn't Pleiades the name given to a group of sisters that Orion chased around until they fled to the stars in attempt to escape him? Do you like astronomy? Your dogs are named after constellations. If you want to continue the trend, I'd suggest the name Sagittarius. It just sounds like a good name for a cat. Dragon said he preferred the name Hades because you're such a jerk, and he wants your cat to be evil to you. I apologize. I'm the one who told him you deserved it… and you kinda do.

Enclosed is a picture of me. My best friend said I should send it to you. Her name is Guinevere, but we all just call her Gwen for short. She's the one who got me to participate in this penpal program. She got one two years ago. Gwen's a year older than me, but she's just starting college. She's my best friend because only her and my other friend Will ever liked hanging out with me. Other people told me I was too literal or too logical or… something like that. One person told me I was too young to be friends with. He was only two years older than me. But whatever. I've gotten used to it.

The picture is from my yearbook, but Gwen says it makes me look pasty, so she made me put in a candid shot of me as well. She says it's her favorite. I think I look silly.

Life in America is as wonderful as ever. Stock market is rising and falling. Businesses are devastating lives. Big cities are crawling with homeless people, rats, and Homo erectus brutalis – my made up scientific name for the jerks who think they're better than everyone else. People are so caught up in their own little confined worlds that they don't see or care about the people around them. On my way to school, I pass fifteen homeless women, ten homeless men, and eight homeless children. I have a short walk. At least once a week, I try to give some of them food or a jacket. I'm not wealthy, but I try to do my best. I think some of the prim and proper suits could offer something as well. I also wish there was something more I could do.

Sorry for boring you with the doldrums of my life. I hope yours is going great. I'm sure you're fine. Can't wait to hear from you.

_Merlin_

\-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Merlin,

Of course I don't like Astronomy. I enjoy spending time imagining new and interesting ways to advertise and expand business. It's riveting to me. The coincidence that those names match-up is exactly that. A coincidence. I just thought they sounded good together, and if you keep talking to your cat, I'm going to call a psychologist over there to check on you.

Life in England is boring. I really love the countryside and wish there was more of it where I lived. My father had a couple meetings today. I was utterly ashamed of him when he announced the new plan for marketing his company through candy. He runs a company that sells cigarettes and beer. I don't understand how he means to market that through candy! If he tried that with his law firm or construction company, I possibly wouldn't be as appalled, but cigarettes?! For the greatness of God, the board sided with me and turned down the idea. Of course, I was only listening from the corner of the room and wasn't truly a part of the meeting. Father is attempting to teach me how to run his companies for when I take them over. I might as well have been a photo on the wall.

I don't go walking too often. In fact, I'm pretty much one of your Homo erectus brutalis. I hardly ever see the world outside of my own unless I am staring out the window of our thirty-fourth floor home toward the hills and the ocean. I live so close to both, yet it has been some ten years since I've been to the beach. That's alright, though. Going to the beach is more of a child's game anyway, especially when you're by yourself.

My life in general is going rather well. School is a lagging misshapen concept that should be rethought. University is probably my least favorite thing to do. I'd almost rather watch our $40 Zen garden grass grow… and there isn't much grass there to watch. It's mostly sand.

Morgana picked out a picture for me. It was taken at an awards ceremony. Morgana is my two years younger sibling. There is little we share in common, including appearance and personality.

And just so you know, you look like a mouse.

_Arthur_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title belongs to The All-American Rejects song "Top of the World".


	3. He may not be real experienced with girls, but I know he feels like a boy should feel

Dear Gwen,

It seems my brother finally took me up on the penpal idea. He's writing to a guy named Merlin in the U.S. He claims the guy is a nerd and a complete waste of time, but he's already started to hound the letterbox like it will give him decadent treats. Merlin must write one hell of a letter.

Lancelot called again today. He keeps asking for Arthur or my father, but I won't give him to them. I always tell him they're busy, even when Arthur is sitting right beside me. Arthur usually gives me a mildly interested look where his mouth hangs open a bit and he looks like a child. It's adorable and funny at the same time. My prestigious brother has a vulnerable side? Blasphemy, right? I still don't understand why Lancelot wants to work for the company so bad anyway. From what I've gathered, he wants to prove his abilities as a noble businessman among all the corruption he sees these days. I guess he's choosing the best path as well as the hardest.

He doesn't really seem to fit the part. I met him once when he came in personally to the office. He keeps himself to himself, but he was definitely gallant and much too cute to be a businessman. He also seemed more interested in the construct of the building than in the business it handled. I think he's secretly a construction loon. Maybe if I keep blowing him off, he'll realize what his true dream is for life.

School is rather boring as usual. Sophia has taken to showing off golden bracelets and earrings every chance she gets. The other students are fooled by her clothes and new jewelry, but I see through her – as always. The earrings are cheap imitations, which is probably why she only wore them once. They probably broke or lost their glow. I'm waiting to see anything worthwhile in her. I can see her as the girl who marries every rich man she can find and then losing them all to mysterious deaths while on her way to living as a multimillionaire debutante. She'll probably use her looks and lies until all her skin starts peeling off. Oh I long for the day!

I hope your love life has taken a turn for the better. I still remember the last guy – though we won't mention any names. Have you found yourself a daring prince yet?

I rue the time between letters, my friend. Write back quickly! The postal service is slow enough as it is! Ha ha!

_Morgana_

* * *

Dear Morgana,

I think my best friend is your brother's penpal. His name is Merlin Emrys, and he's writing to an Arthur in England! Could fate have been kind enough to loop us all together? I hope the two of them get along well. – Oh. Merlin's just showed me a picture of his penpal. This is definitely your brother. I'd recognize those flirtatiously deceiving eyes anywhere. Heh! Just kidding. I sent Arthur a good picture of Merlin. Make sure he doesn't lose it or throw it out.

Maybe one day Merlin and I can come visit your family. When we do, I think I'd like to get a look at this Lancelot. From all your descriptions, he must be gorgeous, not to mention charming. He seems sweet. You don't find many truthfully sweet guys over here… well except Merlin, but he's sort of off the market. He always says he doesn't want to date. I've shown him plenty of cute guys and girls, but he always says he can't go talk to someone and date them based on looks alone. He's too nervous to talk to any of the handsome ones and he has no real interest in the ugly ones. I think he may be a lost cause… Although, he does keep looking at your brother's picture. He's pointed out good elements of the photo twice already. Still, I fear it's destined for tears. Your brother isn't gay, right? And even if he were, he's a bit of playboy, isn't he?

Sophia. This is the Sophia that Arthur turned down dating, right? I guess it just becomes an even better idea that he didn't date her. She sounds like a horrible girl. Also, she's a bit young for Arthur, isn't she? Oh, but I suppose she's the same age as Merlin. Now I feel like I've put a limit on the ages of people Merlin can go for. Heh. I retract that last judgment. Anyone Merlin can date, Sophia can date… not that I'd want Sophia to date your brother or anything. That'd be crazy.

Ah. Like I said, guys here are horrible. I've been on three dates since breaking up with He-Who-Wont-Be-Named. None of them will work out. I can already tell. One did nothing but stare at me constantly. Another told me I was beautiful a grand total of sixty times but couldn't come up with any other remarkable thing about me. The third seemed promising, but I found out he was gay and just trying to satisfy his parents and his need to seem 'normal' in society. It's a sad fact, but it seems I won't be finding a new boyfriend for quite some time.

Merlin's cat, Dragon, could probably be a sweeter boyfriend than half of the guys around here. He's cuddling up to me right now. Merlin says he's a sucker for attention and only butters up to people to give them a false sense of security. I think Dragon's more of a playboy than your brother and only likes girls. The way Merlin complains about him, I'm surprised he hasn't dumped the cat in the street! Oh, but I suppose Merlin would never do that to an animal. He's too nice.

Keep me posted about what your brother says about Merlin's letters. Merlin hardly tells me anything about them even though it's been a month already. Besides, sometimes people don't express what they're really thinking in their letters. They do it with actions. The fact that your pompous brother keeps telling Merlin he's a loser and yet hunts down the mailman like a dog proves that he doesn't tell Merlin the truth already. This is going to be exciting.

Checking for your letter already,

_Gwen_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was Coin Operated Boy by The Dresden Dolls.


	4. What am I Suppose to do When the Best Part of Me was Always You?

Merlin,

Today I watched a woman draw druidic symbols all over the front courtyard of my father's tobacco business. I stood in my father's office while he spoke to me about some important figures and clients. This woman was just slathering paint everywhere. Father didn't find out until one of the employees came running in to tell us. He was so cross with the woman that he never asked me why I hadn't told him it was happening.

Do you know anything about druid symbols? I wouldn't be surprised if you did. I don't know much, but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to try and stop this woman's painting. I came to learn she had been trying to curse the company because the cigarettes we sell gave her son lung cancer and he died last week. The woman was taken away by force, and I think father is pressing charges. I think she was crazy, but somewhere inside me I felt like handing her a candy bar and saying 'thank you.' That's childish, but she has been the most entertaining thing to happen at work in months. Look her up. Her name is Mary Collins.

I realized today that my letters take three to five days to reach you, and that's if the post is doing its job. This means if I insult you today in this letter, you won't know it until Friday. In some weirdly nerd-like way, I'm communicating with the future. We need to work on the time gap issue, though. The future should respond faster.

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

Mary Collins has been charged with defacing public property and disrupting the peace, among other things. You'll be happy to hear you're earning 15k out of the ordeal. Dragon reports that your father is a rich twat and you don't need the money. You'll also be happy to hear he has been grounded for saying so. I'm sure you'll put the money to good use… right?

Druidic symbols only work for witches, so unless Collins was a witch, you're company should be safe. Is that a good thing? You're selling death drugs. Don't worry. I won't judge you on that… or not only that. Ha ha.

Gwen says to say hi. She's your sister's penpal. Gwen's over to tutor me in Physics while I tutor her in English and Math – Pre-Calc. Have you ever taken pre-calc? This stuff is hard, even for me as the tutor. Sometimes I want to just tell her to drop the class, but I know she needs this for her degree. I need physics for mine, then all I need is an elective course and I'll be done with school. Any ideas for what I should take as my elective? I was thinking astronomy.

Gwen said I should take Creative Writing, but I took that course last year. I was slightly disappointed in the course though, because there were only four students and we spent most of the class staring into the blank beyond and 'waiting for the muse to strike us', as the professor put it. I want something more interesting than that. Tell me to write about a storm, and I'll write to you about Dorothy and OZ. Tell me to write about a dream and I'll write to you about Alice falling through the looking glass. Tell me to write about love and I shall spin a tale finer than that of Romeo and his Juliet and more valuable than all the golden thread spun in Rumplestiltskin. But don't sit me in a room full of halfwits and circle me like a vulture. Inspiration isn't forced, and it certainly doesn't like to be watched.

Sorry. I went off a bit there, didn't I? I've been passionate about writing since I was very young. I heard my mother reading me these great tales from short story collections. As I got older, I started reading my own books, and each new story intrigued me even more. Whenever I would finish whatever project, game, or schoolwork I was doing that day, I would go read some more and then write down little childish ideas of my own. I still have every story I've ever written. Part of me seems to think someone will want to read them someday.

I know what you're thinking though. How could someone like me, who's so far ahead of their grade and tutoring people in things like pre-calc, find so much intrigue in writing? I know. I get that a lot. I'm studying to be a doctor, a physician, and dabbling in genetics, but my hobby is definitely writing. I hope to be able to not only cure cancer but also to write a book series in the near future.

Wow. This has become a rather long and detailed letter. Perhaps I've revealed too much? Haha! Write back soon, Arthur. I need something more interesting to read than this physics book.

Merlin

* * *

Merlin,

The money has been put away to be used for Morgana and I to go through university. It took some persuasion, but I finally convinced my father it was the best solution. I've always had a gift for rhetoric.

Sagittarius thinks you should take the astronomy class… and would greatly enjoy reading one of your many works. I told her that was silly, but Tari just wouldn't stop pawing the letter until I agreed to ask you.

Best of luck in school,

Arthur

P.s. Sometimes I think you're a complete nutter, Merlin. Other times, you really do spin gold with words. I'm at a loss as to what to think about you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from Break Even by The Script


	5. The Lasting First Impression is What You're Looking For,… And is That Good Enough For You?

Dear Arthur,

You're spending money to send letters; you should work to make them longer.

Sagittarius? Arthur, did you get the cat? And you named it like I told you to… Arthur, you have no idea how proud that makes me feel. I hope Tari likes her name and that she gets along with your dogs fine. Dragon wishes to comment on how I apparently infected you with my weirdness because you're talking to your cat. I think it's cool.

Astronomy, hm? Alright. I'll take astronomy if you help me. I still get this feeling you know more about the stars than you're letting on. That's okay though. You don't have to tell me. You can dream about the stars or you can be a business tycoon. It doesn't matter to me. Either way, it doesn't change who you are.

Speaking of who you are, I'm starting to realize you're not as much of an asshole as I originally thought. According to Gwen, you're a flirtatious prude who likes things your way and doesn't like to be told you're wrong. She says you're supercilious. Okay, so she said a lot of other words, but it's summed up as supercilious. Apparently your sister talks about you quite often. So from all her letters and ramblings, I understand you're more arrogant in person than you are in your letters, if that were possible. However, I also know you have an ear for people's problems, a righteous sense of right and wrong, and the ability to be very empathetic. I think you're not as harsh as you put out there. I'm glad to say I got at least half of these good qualities from our letters, not just from your sister.

This may sound odd, since we've only been writing for a few weeks, but I'm starting to rather like you as a person.

Hope your companies are doing well, and I hope you're not as promiscuous as your sister's rants imply. Good luck with everything.

Until next time,

Merlin.

* * *

Merlin,

First off, I'm not talking to my cat. I'm inferring from her actions. There is definitely a difference. Don't feel too special. When I went to the pound to get her, I almost didn't. She sort of reminds me of you. She's always running into things and attacking open spaces, you know, air headed things I'd expect to hear about from you. Then after I picked her out, I told myself I wasn't going to name her Sagittarius. Why? Because that is definitely not a girl's name and because you told me to… but after two days, I realized I hadn't picked a new name and I'd been calling her Sagittarius anyway so the name stuck. In other words, it wasn't as though you actually convinced me to get the cat or to name her. It just happened that I did and you had given me the only suggestion I could recall at the time. Understand?

And for the tenth time, I am not an astronomy buff. Why would anyone want to spend time staring up at a stupid bunch of stars like Cephus or something? It's just a bunch of hot, gaseous balls of light. They might not even be there by the time an astronomer sees them. The light takes so long to travel to Earth that the star some astronomer is studying might not even exist anymore! Then what? He's wasted years of his life that he dedicated to some star or planet that isn't even there. Can you imagine me sitting in some observatory, wasting my time like that? No? That's what I thought. That's because I'm not that kind of person. I don't fit the type.

Do I really sound that arrogant in my letters? I know I've insulted you a few times, but I haven't been that harsh, have I? And thanks. I am amazing, no matter what my sister says. I don't like to hear bullshit, but I don't purposely put walls between me and other people either. I actually care about what the company is doing to people and who we're hurting with every decision we make. My father is all about what is best for the company, not so much what is best for the people. Sometimes I... Though I can't disclose the information to anyone outside of the board, let me simply say that my father and I have had some disagreements on the company's directions. Not a lot, but enough to show me we have a different future in mind.

The company is doing well, thank you. Tobacco sales are down 3%, but I'm sure you're not unhappy about that. I think Miss Collins had a deeper impact on sales than my father originally anticipated. She's gone now, but in her place I fear we have a larger problem. An American named Valiant has joined the company. I couldn't dissuade him like Morgana did to Lancelot. Valiant went straight to my father via letter and fax. He bypassed the normal measures we take to keep scumbags like him from my father. I don't know what he put in those messages, but he was hired immediately. He's been nothing but a shining star, but I'm certain he's up to something. He's always giving me looks, like he's daring me to stop him or something. Hey, you seem mildly intelligent. Could you check him out for me? He claims he's been working for a reputable company called X-Tech, as their leader in sales. Get back to me asap, please. I fear it's a matter of life and death for my family company.

Arthur

P.s. I guess you're not as big of an idiot as I originally took you for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "First Impression" by Duran Duran


	6. I've Seen the Best and Worst, I Wouldn't Change What I've Been Through, On My Way Here

Dear Arthur,

I'll pretend I believed everything you wrote in your last letter.

You do come off as coarse at times, but I have found you to be deeper than just your pride. In honor of the feelings you're hiding from your father and from the world, I have gone on an undercover mission into the darkest parts of the internet. And by that, I mean I looked up our mysterious new businessman in google and then in the government websites.

You must have noticed the mail coming in a large manila envelope this time. I'm sure you've already looked at the contents, but in case you haven't… Enclosed with this letter are printed documents involving a man named William Mellor, aka Knight Valiant. He graduated from a top technical school when he was only 18 and went on to steal 15 million dollars from businesses all over America using his personally developed computer programs. The evidence is all there in the files. Show them to your father, and I'm sure he can work it out before your family is forced into financial ruin.

Consider yourself lucky, though. This will blow over, and life will return to normal… as though it never happened.

.

* * *

Merlin,

Are you okay? You ended your letter without even signing it.

You should be happy to know that Valiant is no longer an employee at Pendragon Industries. In fact, he's no longer an employee anywhere. He was arrested and sentenced to prison for fifty to life, depending on his behavior.

You may have noticed your letter came in a very important looking manila envelope. You may have already looked at the contents, but in case you haven't, let me just say you deserve it. Enclosed is a check for one hundred dollars and a necklace with the symbol for dragon in Chinese. I'm not an expert on it, but apparently it will protect you or bring you good luck or something. I thought it would fit considering your cat's name. Sorry if you're not into jewelry. I couldn't think of anything else to get you as a thank you that you'd like. The check is sort of a family gift. Father insisted on it to repay the person responsible for bringing the situation to his attention. Morgana suggested I should get you something else too, so you can thank her for that. It's not in my nature to go buying people things.

Anyway, I think it's about time we switch perspectives. I've been talking about me for awhile. I want to hear more about you. In effort not to write another letter longer than yours, I'll stop here. Write back soon. I'm eager for more material to tease and insult you with – but only because we're friends.

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

Did you just say friends? You finally think we're friends? Thanks. You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear that from you. Dragon kept telling me friendship was inevitable and patience was a virtue, and well… other Chinese proverbs you could find in fortune cookies.

Anyway, sorry about the last letter. My stepfather interrupted me. He was heading to the post office right that minute and said if I wanted anything sent in the next week, I had to give it to him that instant. I didn't even think about signing my name until he was already out the door with the letter. Still, it's good to hear everything worked out. Thank your father for me. The money is greatly appreciated. Though honestly, I saved your family millions and I only got a hundred? Cheapos. Ha, no, I'm kidding. I really do appreciate the gifts, especially yours. I've never had necklaces before, but I really liked the one you sent. I'm partially amazed it wasn't injured in the journey over.

Now I have to talk about me, hm? Well, my favorite color is blue. My best friends are Gwen and Will. I've known Will since birth and Gwen since middle school. My father died before I was born, or that's the story. I still believe he's alive, though. I'm also hoping he left before he found out about me. I'd hate to think my father ran off after knowing he'd fathered a child. Anyway, my mother remarried last year. It was a spur of the moment decision she made. I'm pretty sure she was blackmailed into marrying him, but she won't tell me. I can tell she doesn't love him, and he's not all that fatherly. I mean, he's a good guy. He's just not a family man.

The only other family I have is Uncle Gaius. He's a doctor here in the city. I live with him most of the time, but when I was writing your last letter, I was spending the week at home. I miss my home town, but it's only an hour or so away, and the city isn't so bad. Gaius makes things much more enjoyable than if I were living alone in this madhouse. He lets me use his encyclopedias and library of research to help me in my degree. It has been a godsend several times. Still, sometimes I get the idea that he thinks I'm wasting my time trying to be a doctor. He's made a few comments that make me believe he'd rather I became a full time novelist instead.

Gwen and Will are coming into the city tomorrow to hang out with me. We haven't seen each other in a week, which is a big deal for us. I don't know if you understand, but we're pretty much the only friends we have. Do you have any close friends? What do you do for fun?

Merlin

P.s. I've included a short poem I wrote yesterday. Please read it to Sagittarius and let me know what she thinks. Thanks.

* * *

Dear Merlin,

I figured it was about time I added that salutation to the beginning. Seeing how we're friends now, just writing 'Merlin' seems too formal. I thought you'd agree with that. I'm sure Dragon will be proud of himself when you tell him about the change.

Tari loved your poem. Granted, I had to read a few lines to her multiple times for her to fully understand them, but she got it in the end. Her favorite line was the one about the 'memory of skies.' She tried to fly after I read that. Of course, she was merely jumping off the coffee table and only managed to jump far enough to land right on Orion's back, but it was a decent attempt.

I'm sorry about your new father. Sounds like he's rough around the edges, but I'm sure you can smooth him out. My mother died giving birth to me, but I've never felt lonely or sad about it. I have letters in my room that she wrote to me during her pregnancy. Father says she seemed to know from the beginning that she wouldn't live through the birth and wanted to leave a piece of herself behind for me. I was given the letters as soon as I could read and have kept them neatly in a box ever since. She was a brilliant writer. Actually, your penmanship is almost as good as hers. You should feel proud. Anyway, I hope you find your father someday and that he is everything you need in a father. I'm sure he had a good reason for leaving. If it's any consolation, my father isn't much of a family man either. Morgana and I usually have to catch him off guard to get him to reveal how much he cares about us. In fact, we've sort of turned it into a game over the years.

Oh, speaking of Morgana, she's only my step-sister. Father met her mother when he went into the hospital after a car accident. She was dying of cancer, and they were sharing a room. Apparently they became very close, though he never admits to having openly loved her. Morgana and I met there too. We were both visiting our parents. Father agreed to marry Morgana's mother so that, when she passed, Morgana would have a family. Morgana already called me her brother by that point, so it seemed natural, I guess. And thus I gained a sister. She's a pain in the ass sometimes, but she can be cute when she stops picking on me.

As for friends, well not really. I know all the other young men in the business world, but we're not what you'd call friends. Morgana is the only person I go anywhere with. We like going to the movies and she likes to drag me along to shop, but other than that we spend most of our time in the house. We have plenty to keep us occupied and entertained here. I'd go into more detail, but I'm trying to refrain from being a spoiled ass as well as a rich one.

Sending out to the future with all speed,

Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is a slight paraphrase of some lines from "On My Way Here" by Clay Aiken. If I'd left the lines as they were, it would have been the longest title ever. LOL.
> 
> Also, the poem Merlin sent to Arthur is an actual poem that I wrote called 'Traveler'. I may post it at the end as a bonus chapter.


	7. Wise Men Say Only Fools Rush In, but I Can't Help Falling in Love with You

Dearest Gwen,

I've sent a letter to Merlin. I figured it was about time I spoke to him personally. It's so hard getting to know someone when you have to go by secondhand information. Your information is brilliant and makes my heart literally burst with how sweet he sounds, and his letters to Arthur are vague on information about him for the most part. I decided to try my hand at talking to him. Oh, and before the idea can even enter your mind, please don't try the same thing with Arthur. It's hard enough to get him to write to one person. I fear putting you on his shoulders will make him feel threatened with personal space. Not to mention he may feel like the three of us are conspiring against him. I must admit, that is basically what we're doing, though Merlin is still unaware of this right?, but there is no reason for Arthur to be let in on that secret.

In other news, my date with Alvarr didn't exactly go as planned. His fiancée showed up in the middle of dinner. Apparently we'd been getting too flirtatious. But you know what? She was yelling at me for getting too close instead of yelling at Alvarr for doing it! From their conversation, I got that he wasn't even interested in me. It sounded more like he was planning on making me feel 'special' and using me to get to my father. God, men can be such pigs. I can't believe I almost fell for that. At least I know some men are above such things. Merlin sounds much too kind to do that, and Arthur may be a prude but he's still a good guy. Which leads to the next point – why are all the decent guys gay? I mean, Arthur may not be aware of his sexuality yet, but I'm pretty sure he'll realize what's going on soon.

Still, I wish we could find some decent men. We deserve it. You especially deserve it. If I could, I would send your perfect guy straight over to America. I'd do it for you. You're my very best friend. That means I have to look out for you.

Speaking of decent men, Lancelot passed me on the street today. He didn't even realize who I was. I watched him walk away, and when I turned back to keep walking I ran into this big burly guy. He smelled like meat and got kinda rough with me, saying I needed to watch where I was going and whatnot. Anyway, I was starting to get really worried about what was going to happen to me, even on the side of such a busy street, when suddenly Lancelot was back! He pushed the guy away from me and told him to back off. At first, the ruffian refused, but Lancelot threw out a right hook I didn't know he had in him and the guy took off running. He still didn't recognize me until he turned to make sure I was okay. You should have seen him. He was stuttering and flustered and really worried that punching that guy had ruined his chances of getting into the company. I told him it was the bravest thing I'd ever seen and gave him a big hug. I think that flustered him even more. Honestly, the world needs more men like Lancelot.

I treated him to a coffee after that and managed to get him onto the subject of architecture. It's definitely his calling. He got truly passionate about it. I almost wrote him off as gay too, but this really hot waiter guy served us and Lancelot barely glanced at him. Then he smiled and winked at the cute cashier girl. I think it's a safe bet to say he's heterosexual. Hey, maybe that's it! Gwen, you need to meet Lancelot! Maybe he's your man! I'm telling you, come visit as soon as possible, and bring Merlin!

Beyond excited,

Morgana

* * *

Salutations Merlin,

This is the first we have ever spoken. Guinevere tells me you hear all about our conversations, or at least the parts concerning Arthur. I thought it time I wrote to you myself with some direct information. And now, to keep this letter from sounding too formal, I'd like to let you know that you are the most amazing phenomenon to occur in my life in the past 18 years! Also, if you're wondering how I got your address, well let's just say I know how to pick the lock on Arthur's door – but please don't tell him that – and I have a thing for going through _his_ things. Don't tell him that either.

Arthur doesn't have a lot of friends, you see, so you're a godsend. I found Gwen through the penpal service so I figured putting Arthur through it would be a good idea too, you know, so he could have a friend like that too. It seems to have worked. He talks about you all the time. Granted, it's usually him complaining about how careless you are or how you're annoying and claim he's hot for astronomy… but the point is that he talks about you. He may have given a passing comment on someone he didn't like, but he has some real friendship vibes starting here. I mean, there are times when I can't get him to shut up about you. I find it both annoying and amazing at the same time. Whatever you're doing, keep doing it.

I happened to read one of your letters in which you told him to get a cat and name it Sagittarius. I was wondering where he got that idea. One day, out of the blue, he up and ripped my arm off to get me down to the shelters and pound to look for a cat. He saw one at the pound that was scheduled to be euthanized because they'd had it for so long with no adoptions. It sort of tried to lunge at him through the cage. At first we were both shocked, but it was the most adorable kitten I'd ever seen. It rolled over and then licked its paw, and then it balanced against the cage and looked up at Arthur with the biggest set of eyes in the world. It meowed at him in a sort of apologetic and begging way. My heart was already melted, but Arthur just looked stunned. He still looked stunned when he told them he wanted it. In fact, I think he looked stunned even after we got home with the girl. Then he named her Sagittarius as though that had already been her name. I asked him where he got the name, and he told me it was just a sudden idea to keep his pet names as constellations. Liar. He got the name from you! Honestly, you have no idea how brilliant that makes you.

I hope we can be friends in the future.

Morgana

P.s. You and Gwen should definitely come visit sometime.

* * *

Dear Morgana,

Merlin won't allow me to read your letter, but it must have said something good. He was practically beaming when he read it. I know you talked about Arthur, because Merlin told me all about Sagittarius and the way Arthur tried to lie to both Merlin and you about her. I have to say, if it wasn't for your letters, Morgana, we may never get the truth out of your brother. Does he purposely defend against showing emotion?

Sorry about Alvarr. I was truly hopeful for that one. Lancelot sounds amazing. I've said it before and I'll say it again. I really would like to meet him. However, I'm only half way saved up to make the trip over. Tell you what, keep in contact with him and I'll meet him when I come over. But it sounds like you had a nice time with him too. The only date I've been on recently is the one I went on with Merlin. He took me to dinner when I visited him the other day. After dinner, Merlin also showed me the best shops, and we spent the better part of the evening picking out new clothes and he helped me pick out some new earrings.

Speaking of jewelry, Merlin's started wearing this Chinese necklace everywhere. I swear, he never takes it off. I don't know where he got it, because he won't tell me, but he apparently got it from a friend. As far as I know, the only friends he has state side are me and Will. Do you think Arthur gave it to him? If that's not it, I may have to follow Merlin around for a day to figure out what kind of friend he knows in the city that can afford to buy a jade dragon Chinese charm with the engraving 'protecting the protector' on it. Merlin didn't even notice the engraving until I pointed it out. See if it was Arthur, and then fill me in on what Merlin did to make him a protector. If Arthur did give that to Merlin, I think my friend is falling for your brother faster than we expected. He never wears necklaces. He has bracelets, but that's all. And maybe Arthur isn't so blind to his sexuality after all if he bought Merlin a necklace to bring him protection.

This slapdash idea of ours seems to be working out. Merlin and Arthur have connected well…. But are we really sure that they should fall in love with each other like this? What if they meet in person and can't stand each other? Or what if Arthur breaks Merlin's heart? Or what if they never get the chance to meet? So many things could go wrong if they decided to be together, and I'm not even mentioning the issues they'll face by being gay. Morgana, are you sure we shouldn't try to stop this? Merlin's going to trip head first into his feelings if we don't stop him soon.

Worried about her best friend's heart,

Gwen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title lyrics comes from "Can't Help Falling In Love" from A*Teens.


	8. Everything, It Will Surely Change, Even if I Tell You I Won't Go Away Today

Dear Merlin,

Morgana has fallen ill. She grows worse with every day, and I'm afraid she'll choose to die if this keeps on. You're a doctor. Please help me. I enclosed the reports our doctor created on the illness. If you think of anything, anything at all, please tell me. I know this must seem so out of character for me, but it's my sister. I can't stand idly by while she withers away to death before my eyes. I search everyday for what could have caused the issue, but so far I have found nothing. Again, I am nearly begging you.

Send help with all speed,

Arthur Pendragon

* * *

Dear Arthur,

My uncle and I studied your charts and records. I'd suggest moving her into your room and bringing in pesticides and professionals. As far as we can tell, your sister has been bitten by a poisonous spider or insect of some sort. I spent the extra cash to get this letter to you as soon as possible, as you did to get it to me. I hope it arrives in time. Also, please find a new physician. He's been prescribing 'medicine' to Morgana that may actually be making her sick and encouraging the poisonous insect or increasing the speed of its poison. Get someone else to look at her.

Gwen is in tears with worry. Dragon sends his comfort, if he can offer any. I send best wishes. Please work quickly. Your sister is too sweet to die like this.

Send a quick update as soon as things settle,

Merlin

* * *

Dear Merlin,

Remind me to always hate liars, swindlers, and spiders. There was a nest or colony, or whatever you call it. There were at least ten ugly, hissing spiders in between her mattresses. She's now sleeping soundly in my room while I sleep on the floor. We checked my room for the bugs as well, just in case. We found one in father's room as well, but my room seems to be without the creatures, thankfully. Morgana's fever has broken and all three doctors we brought in say she will be fine within the week.

I can't begin to express my gratitude toward you and your uncle. Give him my regards, and one of the checks I've enclosed. There is one for each of you, written from me personally. It is not enough to reward the people who saved my sister's life, but it is what I can do. Please accept those and my sincerest thanks.

Forever your friend with endless gratefulness,

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

Please stop sending me money. Uncle Gaius understands, but my step-father disapproves of it. He found the check you sent and it was all I could do to save it from him. Besides that, I want to be your friend, not your employee. Cash is not how I want to be paid for helping you.

I regret to inform you that I will be out of touch for some time, though I'm not sure if that will affect the letters. Since your letters arrive at various intervals, I might be back well before your next letter. Still, I thought it best to warn you. I'm going on a trip with Will to visit his family in Florida. They're paying for my flight. We'll be back soon, I promise.

Give Morgana my best and thank her for her letters.

Yours truly,

Merlin

* * *

Dear Morgana,

Forget any negativity I had with your plan. Merlin needs your brother now more than ever. Kanan, his step-father, found out that he was in contact with a rich businessman's son when Merlin received a check from Arthur. Uncle Gaius accidentally let it slip over the phone, and Kanan drove to the city to 'check up on his son'. I wasn't there, but I know that when I managed to get there, Merlin had a swollen lip and one black eye. I think Kanan must have looked worse because Gaius said Merlin fought tooth and nail for the check, and Merlin swears it wasn't him who fell through the table.

Kanan has never been very nice. From what I've been told and can tell, he's using something about Hunith's work to keep her bound to him. He uses Hunith against Merlin, but this time Merlin fought back. They aren't usually a violent bunch. Kanan is usually just vulgar and commanding, but I got really scared when I saw Merlin all beaten up like he was. He just smiled and laughed when he saw me fretting. He said it proved he isn't as big of a weakling as everyone thinks he is. He's such an idiot sometimes. He really doesn't know how to pick his fights.

Anyway, Will's parents agreed to let Merlin come stay with them in their summer home for a week or two until Kanan calms down. He has no set return date. That way, Kanan won't be able to know when he'll come back and wait for him to "settle" things.

Uncle Gaius gave me the money Arthur sent to him. He said he didn't need it on top of his doctor salary. The good news out of all of this is that my funds to get me to England are significantly higher than the last time we talked about them. Not only do I have your brother's money, but my job decided to kick in and give me the hours I wanted. The day may come when we meet at last, Morgana.

Sick with stress but excited about Europe,

Gwen

* * *

Dear Arthur,

I know you said not to bother you while you were in France for the week, but you received a letter from Merlin and I fear it may be urgent. Gwen let me in on what Merlin's not saying in his letter, and yes I did read it. I couldn't not after reading Gwen's. Write a letter to Merlin quickly and send it to Gwen's address, which I've written on the back of this letter to save on space because I'm not sure how much I will write to you. Gwen will send it to Merlin in Florida. I get this strong feeling that Merlin could use a letter from a friend more than ever now. He needs you, Arthur.

Please write with all speed.

Love your sister,

Morgana

* * *

Dear Merlin,

Please don't feel I am prying, but is everything alright? I know we don't always put everything we're really thinking in our letters, and I know, on my part at least, we sometimes even lie. You're last letter felt like a mask, my friend. It felt like you were hiding behind half truths to refrain from telling me what's going on in your life.

But I want to know. If you'll let me, I'd like to be your friend, Merlin. I'd like to know when something is bothering you. I want to be a friend you may confide in, and I hope you can become that kind of friend for me. You know I don't have any friends to talk to like that.

If I am wrong and nothing is overly wrong right now, please forgive my assumptions. I hope you're having a wonderful and relaxed time in Florida with Will. Take a picture or two and send them with your next letter. I've never been to a beach like the ones you have there in Florida.

Slightly anxious,

Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title: 'Permanent' by David Cook


	9. We were strangers starting out on a journey. In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

Dear Arthur,

I'm moving today, so from now on you have to start sending your letters to my new address. Uncle Gaius believes moving was the best idea I've had in months. I haven't had the honor of telling him it was your idea yet. Once I've gotten everything set up, I'll send you a picture of the new place. Gwen is going to help me, so, if things go her way, you may actually get a slideshow of pictures showing each step of the unpacking process from empty to finished.

As planned, my step-father has no idea about the move. I've only even hinted at it to my mother. Once I'm settled in, I'll call her and let her know everything, but right now it's too risky. If Kanan were to find out, I worry for my mother. He may blame her if she knows anything. After the move, I plan to help her break his hold on her. I'm rescuing myself, but now it's my mother who needs the help.

While moving is a great plan, I regret to inform you that it puts a hitch in our plans to visit. Gwen is only a few hundred away from reaching her goal, but this house drops me down quite a bit, even with the help from Uncle Gaius. He paid for most of it and I still had to give up some of my savings for it. Don't worry though, Arthur. We'll make it over soon. We want to meet the both of you too much to let anything, even a house, get in the way. As it is, I'm surprised we've even gotten this close to making the trip. Usually we're both so disorganized about saving money. But I guess, as time goes on, we're both becoming more anxious and excited about it. I find more and more of my paychecks going into my savings.

I want to thank you again, for helping me. I'd never been quite so frightened of my own home. You really have no idea how much your letters kept me strong throughout the ordeal. I'm inhumanly grateful.

How's your life and family going?

Your's truly,

Merlin

* * *

Dear Merlin,

The pictures you sent were cool. They entertained Morgana and I for almost an hour. Gwen certainly took a lot of them. It amazes me still that you've been moved for nearly a month now. Morgana teases me day in and day out about the apparent sway I hold over you. It's rather annoying, actually. I try to defend you, of course. I've told her you're much too independent to base your life around what I say. It remains to have any effect on her, I'm afraid.

Since we're now considered friends, I'm going to let you in on something. The other day, while I had a break from work and life in general, I was sitting alone in our den and watching the clock. I wasn't actually watching the time, but my gaze did land and stick on the clock. Anyway, I was surprised to find myself thinking of you and the day I received my first letter. Do you realize, Merlin, that we have known each other for a little less than a year already? I found it fascinating!

What I also found astounding was the idea that I'm actually your friend and you are mine. We're friends. The longest relationship I've had with someone outside of my family was a month, and we were only 'friends' so I could earn their trust and they'd convince their father to sign a business deal with my father. But you, Merlin…. There's something about you. I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's definitely something about you, Merlin. How have you managed to keep my interest this long? It baffles me!

And now, as is customary, I will update you about my family, though I'm sure you've received a letter from Morgana recently. I saw her slip some letters into the letterbox two days ago. Maybe I'm a bit slow with my responses. I should speed up. Anyway, Morgana is doing fine, great, actually. Ever since her mishap with those spiders, she's been on a health crusade and, honestly, she's never looked better. She stopped eating some of the unhealthy snacks she used to love between meals and has even upgraded her skin care products to more natural, healthy alternatives. In a way, it's inspiring me to follow her example. I realized just this morning that my eating habits have changed. I expect it's because I used to keep her company while she ate and always ended up eating something as well. Now that she's stopped eating so much, so have I.

Father has been getting messages from a woman named Nimueh. He swears he doesn't know her and throws away all the notes from his secretary that involve her, and yet I swear I recognize her. We met once just outside of the office the other day as I was leaving for home. She called me by my name, and I thought we'd met before. It wasn't just that she used my name and that she looked familiar. There was something about the confidence with which she moved and spoke. I'm certain I know her. Father evades all my questions about her, but one day I'll get the truth out of him… or maybe I should simply snatch one of the memos about her from the trash and contact her myself. What are your thoughts on the subject? Morgana thinks I should just leave it alone.

Still in shock,

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

Time flies when you're having fun and not paying attention. I suppose that is how I keep you entertained. I'm not after your money. I'm not after your name. I'm just a friendly set of words put together in comprehensive sentences that turn into entire letters that you enjoy reading. I suppose being a kind ear and a wise rebuttal helps keep me in your good graces, though I'm sure you're going to argue about the wise part.

It is hard to imagine it's already been a year. I want to thank you so much for all the help you've given me over this last year. The letters you sent to me while I was in Florida really did give me the courage to return home, and with your help I found a new place to live. Now I have a fresh start and a beautiful new house, and soon I will have my mother out of Kanan's clutches. Wow, I make him sound like a storybook villain. Well, I suppose, to me, he is.

Well now, if you're becoming more attractive, I think Gwen and I need to see this. You should take pictures, one of each of you alone and then one of you together. Depending on how good you look, maybe I'll ask your secret so I can start looking hot too. Ha ha!

As for the Nimueh situation, that name sounds familiar to me. I've already done a search for her, but there are too many Nimueh's on the internet to know which one she is. Do you have a last name? Based on your father's reaction, she must be someone important in your family's past. If it were me, I'd find her and talk to her. Or, that's what I'd do in my case if it were a man. Who knows, he may be my father. Maybe Nimueh is your long lost aunt or something. I say to take the chance and find her. Discover the truth and then let me know what you find, good or bad. Remember, you've still got me, no matter what.

By your side,

Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title lyrics come from 'At the Beginning' by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis from the Anastasia soundtrack.


	10. Something happened for the first time, Deep inside, it was a rush. What a rush.

Dear Merlin,

I'm sure you won't have any insight into the following dilemma of mine, but I'll be elucidating anyway. You see, Merlin, while you have no apparent problems with women, I find myself troubled by them almost every other day. While the usual girl begging to be my girlfriend or trying to prove they could help me run a company in the future doesn't even bend my ear, yesterday was different.

I'm sure I've mentioned her before, this problematic adolescent. Sophia Grainger, the most ridiculous girl I have ever met. Despite the steady fact that I refuse her at every given opportunity and have no interest in her whatsoever, not to mention that we never spend time together – not even for classes, she has decided it is in her best interest to tell everyone and anyone that she can that we are planning our engagement. I've had other guys at school ask me if I got high when I agreed to marry her, and then I got a few congratulations from both girls and boys at my school. It blows my mind, honestly.

Perhaps you can explain what is going on in her head. I'm doing my best to rectify the situation, but I just don't know how much I can do or if the situation is beyond salvation. At this rate, I may need to make it a public announcement during my father's next press conference.

Speaking of the press, Father is having quite a rough time with them of late. It seems some company called Gedref is claiming he stole the deed to some land of theirs. They're a nature preserve, you see. Father signed off on an order to bulldoze the lot and begin digging for natural resources and minerals and whatnot, which I have decided is not something I plan on doing when I run the business. Anyway, Gedref and its C.E.O., an older man called Anhora, swear the land belongs to them. The press has had a field day, of course. Father can't leave work or home without meeting a rush of reporters, and he says his office is being filled with books of memos from all different kinds of agencies and papers.

I'm sure he'll work it all out, though. My father has dealt with worse problems than this. The bad press won't hurt him for long. He knows how to handle himself in the business world.

So how is my favorite American idiot?

Sincerely,

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

Sophia sounds like a typical case of narcissism and delusion. She's trying to be manipulative. By spreading such news about someone as important and news-worthy as yourself, she hopes to trap you in the press and rumors and eventually force you into marriage. I'm no psychologist, but I'd peg her as partially psychotic. Ha! I'm only partially jesting.

Seriously though, I'd watch my back with her. She could be dangerous. I don't want you getting in over your head. I can't protect you from America if she decides to get physical.

I don't have any girl problems as of right now. I have yet to find any girl that interests me in the slightest. Well, save for Gwen, but she's my best friend and it's strictly platonic. Maybe we're both still waiting for the right person to come along before we throw ourselves head first onto the chopping block. And although that sounds terribly wrong for the idea of love, I mean it in the most romantic way possible.

As for you, I'm confused. Arthur, if you don't like the way your father is doing things, why don't you speak up? If you think it's wrong, stop it. It's going to be your company one day, remember? You can't just sit by while your father builds your reputation for you. One day you will step into his shoes and adopt that company's policies. What will people think of your company? If you don't make a stand now, no one will ever see it as your company. It will simply always be your father's. If they're still going through the laws and politics of it all when this arrives, go out and make your mark on the company's future.

Well… that is if you haven't decided to deviate and become an astronomer.

Missing you even though we've never met,

Merlin

* * *

Dearest Gwen,

I don't know how to begin. I planned on my next letter being filled with tales of my life and of Lancelot and how wonderful he'd be for you. I planned on filling your head with stories of how I've shown him pictures of you and talked about you as my dearest friend, and how Lancelot and I have become a bit more than simple acquaintances.

However, this morning, when your letters arrived with Merlin's in the letterbox, all of my grand ideas for my letter were stolen away. Gwen, it appears as if even the grand master of our plan can be moved by her own work. Arthur opened Merlin's letter before I could begin penning my response to you. I watched him on the opposite couch.

He looked amused and then he looked shocked. He covered his mouth and, I swear to god I'm not lying, he blushed. I've never seen him so touched by a letter. He's read it five times just this morning. He puts it down and walks away, but he comes back to read it again only a few moments later. I'm so stunned, I can barely choose my wording.

Wait, he's just pulled something out of his pocket. Did you know stubborn, pig-headed older brothers can actually be sweet on the inside? If you haven't guessed, he's just pulled out a picture of Merlin. I didn't know he carried something like that around with him.

Gwen, he's actually fallen! He's in a daze! I thought this would be harder, but after only a year, he's completely head over heels. It's so sweet, I feel like crying! I'm touched and I don't even know what the letter says!

Utterly useless right now,

Morgana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "Crush" by David Archuleta.


	11. Be a best friend, tell the truth, and overuse "I Love You"

Dearest Morgana,

I read in the news today that your father recently closed on a deal with Gedref Reservation. I'm a bit surprised to hear he gave them the deeds to the land. You always said your father was unflinching in his ways and almost never says sorry. To think he actually relinquished the land, it makes me hopeful for your family's future. It proves there is some humility to your father.

I got mad at Merlin the other day. He showed me a copy of his letter to Arthur. I can see why it got to Arthur. Merlin did say some very meaningful things, but at the same time, he deceived him. I said he was lying to Arthur. He was making Arthur think he had an interest in women! Merlin says he didn't lie. According to him he did say 'I've never had an interest in a woman' but at the same time… he didn't say he didn't like women. If Arthur's fallen for Merlin, the slight idea that Merlin might have an interest in only women could be horrible for him!

I'm glad that Arthur is so infatuated, but it may not do any good if they go on thinking the other is straight! I tried telling Merlin what you said about Arthur, but he said he didn't care if we thought Arthur was in love. He wouldn't believe me and asked me not to interfere. I guess he's a bit more stubborn about love than I thought.

I suppose I understand, though. He has had a disappointing relationship in the past. I'm almost afraid that Merlin's worried any guy in his life will end up letting him down. I'm going to keep trying to convince him that Arthur could be his match, but I don't wanna make him mad at me.

Oh, and speaking of matches, are you serious? You're telling a guy I've never met that we'd be great together? Morgana! You shouldn't do things like that! What if I meet him and we turn out to be complete opposites, or we simply don't mesh well together? You're probably making me sound a lot better than I actually am, anyway. Please don't build up his hopes with fallacies.

Sincerely,

Gwen

* * *

Dearest Gwen,

I assure you, I never tell lies when trying to match-make a friend. He knows only the truth about you, and I've been debating showing him our letters – including mine because Arthur and I have always been raised to make copies of everything we write, strictly for documentation purposes.

As for the 'humility' of my father, it wasn't him at all. It was entirely thanks to Arthur. He made a wonderful speech about the reputation of the company and the people who use its many products. He said when he ran the company, he wanted it to be about more than having the best sources and income. He wanted it to be about the people and getting into their hearts. He wanted it to be a quality company, not simply a quantity-based business. It was a rather moving speech, to be honest. I've hardly ever seen him seem so impassioned before. I loved it.

Merlin's probably right. We shouldn't try to force it. While we have meddled, we must keep it soft. They'll find each other soon enough, with or without our help at this point. Arthur is completely besotted, and I doubt Merlin is any different. I wouldn't worry about his insecurities. He sounds like he's the type to open his heart too easily, no matter how many times it gets broken. It's both admirable and dangerous at the same time.

As for my life as it is, besides the Gedref reserve debacle, not much had been happening lately, which is slightly odd. I'm off to see my parents at their graves in Northern England. Uther is accompanying me, and we shall be gone for two weeks. He has business to attend to after we complete the small memorial service that's planned. I may be late in responding to your next letter due to this trip, so I will speak with you whenever I am next available.

Best of luck for awhile,

Morgana

* * *

Dear Merlin,

I don't know how you think someone as slim as you could need to defend someone like me. I'm one of those 'rough, tough, save the world' kind of men and you're… well you're just not. But the sentiment is touching, I assure you.

I also find that the idea of you being a 'wise rebuttal', as you once called yourself, is more true than I'd originally thought. I spoke to Father. As you'll have no doubt read by the time this letter arrives, I did manage to convince him to give the land to the reserve. I'm still not entirely sure how I did it. I know I took partial note from you and used the point that the company would one day be mine so I should have a say in its decisions. I may also have said that I didn't like the reputation we were building, but I'm not sure which part stuck more with him.

Since this letter will not arrive in your hands for several days, I'll have to be crafty about this next part. I was wondering if you would like to have coffee with me next Friday. Pick your favorite shoppe in town, or the most highly recommended one if you don't have a favorite. If it will convince you to go, I'll even promise to pay you back for whatever you drink when you finally come over to visit. I understand this is highly unconventional, but it is hard to have a good sit down with a friend when they live half way round the world.

Please say yes,

Arthur

P.s. I do NOT want to be an astronomer.

* * *

Dear Arthur,

I greatly enjoyed our coffee outing. We sat in the window booth under a lamp that looked like it came right out of a stereotypical movie coffee shop. You made jokes about how it looked like it was going to fall apart if we poked it, and I had to stop you from trying. We talked about what kind of drink was best. I argued that coffee was slightly overrated but I loved the tea I'd ordered. You were stubbornly set on the superiority of your coffee.

We argued gently for a few minutes before we decided to just shut up about it before we started getting passionate about something so stupid. That's when we started people watching and making fun of the people walking by on the opposite side of the street. We got so loud that the manager had to come and scold us. After that, we decided it was best to small talk. You reenacted how you convinced your father to give up the land, with very important looking hand motions to go along with it that I didn't entirely understand. Then we discussed our physical differences, in which I claimed I was stronger than I looked and much more loyal and trustworthy than you give me credit for and you said personality achievements meant little in a fight. You teased me until, finally, you had to leave to go to a business meeting and I sort of had some homework to finish anyway. I assured you that you didn't need to pay me back for the tea and then we said our goodbyes.

Thank you for a lovely afternoon. We should do it again some time.

Your's Truly,

Merlin

P.s. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, and I mean that with all sincerity.

* * *

Dear Morgana,

I think I'm in love. Come home safe.

Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title comes from 'Love Like Crazy' by Lee Brice.


	12. The Mind Churns, The Heart Yearns, The Tears Dry Without You

Dearest Gwen,

There is success! I'd love to send you a copy of Arthur's letter to me, but I doubt Merlin would believe us even then. On one hand, how you can deny his feelings after the letter he wrote to me while I was away is completely ridiculous. On the other hand, I do understand where Merlin's coming from.

Before I continue, I will recap to you, in direct wording, what Arthur wrote to me. And I quote, 'Morgana, I think I'm in love.' Unquote. Merlin must write one hell of a good letter. Actually, I know he does. Arthur let me read this one. I didn't even have to break into his room to find it. When I got home, he literally shoved it in my face.

Oh, but I shouldn't be spewing all of this nonsense. Gwen, what news is there of your father? Last you wrote he was in the hospital. Is he alright? Please know that I am always here for you and can whisk you away from there if ever there be a need. I send all my best wishes to him and pray the doctors were able to help him. What was wrong with him? You skimped on the details last time.

If you have fallen on hard times, I can give you some money to pay for his expenses. It wouldn't be a problem, I swear. Let news of my undying friendship and loyalty be a comfort to you, as well as the knowledge that Merlin has made my brother a much more interesting person to live with. He's become more concerned with his actions and more thoughtful about… well, it seems to be about everything.

Write back with much haste! I wish to know how things fair with you!

Morgana

* * *

Dearest Morgana,

I regret to inform you that my father has passed away. Two weeks ago, he was coming home from the mini mart down the street when he was mugged by a gang, The Order of Four they call themselves. It's the biggest gang in the city. It has four branches, each run by one head guy. All the heads are related. They're brothers. They run each section of the city but all work collectively to hold the gang together as one larger gang. That's why the gang is called 'The Order of Four'.

Anyway, they surrounded him and made him help them rob the mini mart. Then they took all the money he had on him and the necklace I bought him last Christmas, which he was wearing. When he tried to fight back to get the necklace, they stabbed him. The store manager called the ambulance for him even though my father had just helped rob him. We've known the man for years. They took my father away to the hospital.

Morgana, he died there, with me a crying mess by his side. The internal injuries were too much, but he took two days to die! I feel so guilty just imagining the pain of dying so slowly. The doctors assured me that they had him on too much morphine for him to have felt any of it, and I can only pray that was true. He was unconscious from the drugs most of the time so I never really got to ask him how he felt. The one time he woke up and spoke to me, he told me he loved me and was sorry about the necklace. I told him I'd buy him another one, and I did. They let me put it on him in the casket during the funeral. It's a direct duplicate of the original.

The leader of the gang in our sector is Tauren. The cops caught him and charged him with my father's murder, but knowing the system and knowing Tauren – being locked up won't last for long, and even if it lasts longer than a month, he'll be running the gang from behind bars. It's disgusting. I can't think about that most days. I try to pretend Tauren doesn't even exist most of the time.

Anyway, I'm living with Merlin now. His new house had extra room anyhow, and I couldn't stay in my father's house with all the memories and empty space. Merlin's been so kind. I feel bad for all the times I've cried myself to sleep on his shoulder, but he doesn't even wake me. He just sleeps sitting up so he won't disturb me. He's just too kind. I'm glad some of that kindness is getting through to your brother. Merlin needs someone. It's just too sad to think of him ending up alone in this world. Now, more than ever, I want to help him get to England to meet Arthur. Forget any fears I had. It's a chance for Merlin to find love, and I want that more than anything right now.

Yours truly,

Guinevere

* * *

Dearest lovely Gwen,

Accept my condolences. I know they must be just a few of many you've gotten, but I hope you feel the true sadness behind them that I feel for you. I also must apologize. Each one of my letters gets to you farther and farther from the date it happened, and I become a painful reminder of the past. I'm sorry. Still, I had to let you know how I felt about it all. I feel odd trying to change the subject to a lighter note. I believe it is what you would want, though, so I'll try.

Lancelot hasn't made an appearance in several days. He hasn't called, faxed, walked in, or even bumped into me on the street. I'm wondering if he went off to become an architect or not. If he is gone for good, that's upsetting. I was just starting to get to the second best part of match-making you both – the best of it, of course, would be the two of you finally meeting, but we'll deal with that bridge when we come to it. When I see him again, I'll probably tell him all the latest developments first, and I'm sure he'll be sorry for your loss as well. I'll keep you posted on any new happenings with him. Knowing my luck, I'll send this letter and I'll see him tomorrow, or this evening. There's a party for the business that he may subtly crash, knowing him.

Arthur's been staring at the night sky recently. I wonder, partially, if that has anything to do with Merlin's continued persistence on Arthur secretly wanting to be an astronomer. I've lived with him my entire life and never thought of him as a star gazer, never felt the tiniest hint. Is Merlin set on it because Arthur told him he wanted to be an astronomer, because Arthur's animals are all constellations, or just because he thinks it sounds cool? No matter the reason, he's definitely been watching the stars twinkle for the last hour while he lies on the balcony. I'm about to go make sure he hasn't frozen to death out there. It's getting much colder here.

Soon it shall be December and then Christmas. Tell me, Gwen, what would you like for Christmas? Ask Merlin as well.

Long distance love and affection,

Morgana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from "Without You" from the musical 'Rent'


	13. Between Who You Are and Who You Could Be. Between How it is and How it Should Be

Dear Arthur,

I'm home sick today. I don't feel like I'm shaking, but from the way my handwriting is worse than normal, I must assume I am. Don't worry, though. It's nothing serious. My uncle is over and taking care of me for the day, so I couldn't possibly have better care. I'll be better by tomorrow if he has anything to say about it.

Dragon is avoiding me as though a human cold could actually infect him. He says stranger things have happened, and he isn't taking chances. Oh, speaking of pets, my uncle wanted to get me a bird. I told him a bird wasn't a good idea since my schedule is so full from school and work, and I'll be trying to go to England soon anyway. Besides that, though, Dragon wouldn't promise not to eat the poor creature. Alas, Archie will have to wait to join our family. Archie is short for Archimedes. I've always wanted to have a bird named Archimedes, ever since I was little. But first our house wasn't big enough for pets and then Kanan wouldn't allow us to have any.

Dragon is a special case. I found him wandering the streets shortly before I moved out of the house. I kept him a secret until I was able to smuggle him into my new place. He said it was destiny that brought us together because nothing in the world is chance or luck. I have to say I sorta agree with him. He's given me some great ideas and courage over the years.

How is that Nimueh idea coming along? You haven't mentioned her in two months. Have you figured anything out?

Yours truly,

Merlin

* * *

Dear Merlin,

By the time this letter arrives, my well wishes will be meaningless, but I felt I should give them anyhow. I hope you are doing better than okay and can get your work done properly without messing up. However, from some of the stories you've told me about your school and work life, I'd imagine asking you not to be clumsy would be like asking water not to be wet. Despite the fact, please try not to get yourself hurt.

Orion is sick, but I didn't give him the illness. He's been dragging himself around the house as though he's about to collapse even though I've been asking him to just sit down and relax until we can get him to the vet. Pleiades isn't worried, at least not when she knows someone is looking. Whenever I hear the whimpers, I know she's checking on him. She's such a silly dog, being so secretive about how much she cares. Sagittarius seems to know better than to mess with them. She's been avoiding them and following me like the dogs are meant to. She's lucky she's so cute or I'd have to hit her for all the scratches she's given me from her tiny teeth. She's already declawed because father just wouldn't hear of having a cat that could ruin the furniture.

Nimueh hasn't made an appearance since the day she spoke to me in the lobby. I get this feeling she's letting the idea that we've met fester in my mind. Although I hate to admit it, it has begun to irk me. I have learned nothing of her, and I've even begun searching through my father's old files. I fear the woman is just toying with me. The way she smirked at me could seriously suggest that. Perhaps she is scheming. I should be wary of her.

In other family news, Morgana has decided she wants to adopt when she gets older, but I have no idea why. She's never had much of an interest in children. Well, no more than any other woman. She's always been soft, but not to the point of actually adopting pets or children. You'd think, as her only legitimate brother, she'd tell me when ideas like these start to pop up.

Speaking of brothers, my uncle is in town. He's making death threats, but it's nothing unusual. He's never liked my father, and when mum died, well he sort of lost it. Father has a restraining order on him, but it doesn't stop him from getting as close to the house as he can and glaring at Father every time he leaves. Sometimes he sits out there all day and night just for the chance to give my father a piece of his mind. When I was younger, I used to think he was a statue.

He's in town for business of his own this time and hasn't made a pass by the house, but I know he's here. I swore I saw him outside of the company when I went in yesterday and he wrote me a letter last week saying he may be around if he got the chance. I'm still curious why he wrote to me. He's never written before save for birthday cards.

And speaking of birthdays, I believe yours is next week, is it not? I hope you have a happy birthday. Wish we could all get together to celebrate it. Go out and have a pint for me. Oh. Oops. You're not legal to drink in America yet, are you? Oh well. One more year, am I right?

Happy twentieth birthday, Merlin. Have a beautiful day.

Ever waiting,

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

I bet you can't guess what I wished for when I blew out the many candles on Gwen's homemade birthday cake. You could probably fill your entire next letter with guesses and never get it right, but I won't give any clues or tell you what it is because then it won't have any chance of coming true. I know you probably don't believe in wishing on birthday candles, but I guess I enjoy the idea. Ah, but that's where Dragon would probably say wishing is superfluous because of destiny.

I believe wishing gives people hope, and people need hope. Destiny or not, if you have no hope, you won't make it out of your own front door to face the day. Hope keeps even the most depressed person breathing. I wished this year because I have put a lot of stock in a new hope. I can only wait and see if my hope meets with a happy ending, and I dearly 'hope' it does. Heh.

Nimueh. I doubt she means you any harm, but you should probably be wary if you think she could be detrimental to you or your family. Then again, I could say the same thing about your uncle. He doesn't sound like a nice man. He sounds creepy, actually. You be safe, Arthur. I'd hate to have to cancel my trip to England.

Your well wishes were received and I am perfectly healthy once again, but how is Orion? I hope he's doing better. The pictures you sent last Christmas are still hanging on my corkboard. I smile every time I see them. You look so happy with them. I'm sure he's seen a vet by now. What's the diagnosis?

Yours Truly,

Merlin

* * *

Dear Merlin,

Hope is in short supply. Orion is dying. He has a heart condition typical in his breed at this age. The veterinarian gives him till New Years. I know what I would have hoped you wished for with your cake, and try as I might, I cannot bring myself to taunt you about wishing on candles. I also know you like longer letters, but please accept this letter as it is. I don't have time to collect my thoughts into a letter right now.

I'm sorry.

Arthur.

* * *

Dear Arthur,

Your letter brought me tears and regret. I doubt I shall have the money to meet Orion before he passes. I looked at his picture and cried today. But my tears for your loss and my missed opportunity will do nothing for you, so cry, Arthur Pendragon. Hold your dog and cry for him. I know you're hurting. I know how much you love those dogs. So when you're alone, let him know you love him. I'm sure he can sense your distress much more than I can. I'm feeling for you, but now you must feel for yourself. I wish I could be there for you in the months to come.

Best of Luck,

Merlin

* * *

Dear Merlin,

You are. Thank You. I'm glad you're here, Merlin.

Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "Dare You to Move" by Switchfoot.


	14. We've been waiting all year for this night…Celebrating this special time we share.

Dearest Morgana,

Merry Christmas from America! Merlin and I chipped in together and bought you a present from the both of us. We hope you like it. We weren't sure what you'd want, at first, but then we saw these and instantly thought you'd enjoy them. The bracelets came from an Italian jewelry shop, and the owner swears it's authentic. We spoke to him personally. The snake bracelet has itty bitty emeralds in it, and the dragon bracelet has rubies. Well, that's what I'd love to say, but it's really just quartz that LOOKS like emeralds and rubies. I didn't think you'd hold the difference against us. I'm sure you have much finer jewelry than these two bracelets, but we couldn't help but buy them for you.

Speaking of jewelry, Merlin bought Arthur a necklace and two simple, golden bracelets for Christmas. He said it was to 'accentuate' Arthur's wrists and neck. Of course _he'd_ know about the aesthetics of jewelry on a man, right? Anyway, he kept fiddling with that Chinese protection necklace he got several months ago, you remember the one I'm talking about? I asked him about it and he said the same thing; that it was from a friend. Since he messed with it more when looking for Arthur gifts than any other time, I called him out on it being from Arthur. He said yes! He said Arthur gave it to him as a thank you gift near the beginning of their correspondence, but he wouldn't tell me what he did to deserve it. I keep thinking back and coming to the conclusion that it might be for when he and his uncle told Arthur you had been poisoned by spiders…. But a part of me believes he's been wearing that necklace since before then. It's hard to remember when he first put it on.

If my math serves me right, and I'm pretty sure it does, so long as no unexpected money issues arise, Merlin and I should be able to make our trip this summer when school lets out. When do you believe would be the best time to make our flight? I don't want to fly over there only for you and Arthur to be away with your father for business. Any other news on your front? I feel like we haven't discussed your love life in awhile, and that needs some serious addressing. You always say I deserve so much, but so do you. It's time we find you a guy too.

Best Holiday Wishes,

Gwen

* * *

Dearest Gwen,

The bracelets were lovely. Thank you! Thank Merlin for me too. Father saw them at dinner last night and didn't even notice they were faux gems. I will wear them whenever I'm not dressing for a special party where wearing reptiles on my wrist might be considered inappropriate. They're really beautiful. Thank you. I'll cherish them always. Arthur gave me a bracelet too, actually. It's white gold in color with some yellow gold plating. The design is hard to explain, but it's a fat bracelet that covers two inches of my arm. It's beautiful, though, and it surprised me that he would get it for me. I just got him a fancy dagger I found online.

Arthur received Merlin's letter and box today. I purposely put off writing my letter until his gifts arrived. He was like a fat kid digging for cake in that box. He seemed mildly interested in the things, probably because he knew I was watching, and didn't pull any out of the box far enough for me to see them. But since you told me what they were, I recognized them instantly at lunch. He swears he bought the bracelets, but admits to Merlin getting the pendant. I told him it looked like a vampire fang and he said it was more like a dragon's claw. I'm not sure which one sounds less intimidating, but he seems proud of it so I guess it doesn't matter either way. Now they've exchanged necklaces. I think it's sweet and enchanting. The idea of Arthur and Merlin together makes me smile like it was my own love. I feel devious and conniving when I write to you about how cute it is, but that's half the fun. This is brilliant gossip between us. I love it all.

Speaking of gifts: I hope you like the handheld mirror I've sent. It's my gift to you. It's handcrafted, gold plated wood, but the design is so extravagant. The simplistic idea but fantastic design and display made me liken it to you when I saw it. I hope it brings you hours of narcissistic pleasure as you gaze into it at your beautiful self. I saw Lancelot the other day and he handed me a silver chain necklace with a yellow colored tear drop hanging from it and a bouquet of flowers. He said they were for me and my friend – meaning you. I told him to keep the necklace until you got here and he can put it on you himself. He was so flustered by that. I wish you could've seen him.

Why must we dwell on my love life? The closest to love I have come as of late is the affections of a man working in my father's company named Leon… but he is many years older than I, and I would rather not flatter his fantasy. Until a proper man appears in my life, I'm afraid I am a lost cause.

Speaking of proper men, I met the complete opposite of Lancelot this morning. Well, by 'met', I mean I saw him. I was walking through the front lobby when this scruffy man, drunk as a mule and yet still managing to stand surprisingly well, got into a brawl with a black man standing in the corner! It was horrible! Everyone in the lobby ended up in the fight! I hate to admit it, but even I had to smack a few men to get out of there. If ever I find myself with a man like that, Guinevere, please snap me out of my enchantment quickly before I waste away in my delirium! And that is all I have to say about my experience with men of late.

Exhausted from the talk of un-chivalrous men,

Merry Christmas,

Morgana

* * *

Dear Merlin,

Your tokens were well received. While they are common quality, they are finely made bracelets and so I may deem to wear them once in awhile. I hope you understand that bracelets aren't the best pieces of jewelry for a man to wear during a business meeting. I must wear them with discretion. Orion thanks you for the treats you sent. The bag had been bumped around a bit during the transport, but the goodies inside must have made it through alright. He ate them quickly enough. He can barely move around, but he has strength enough to eat your treats like a rare candy. I suppose this means you bought a good kind.

I hope you like your gift. I had Morgana help me brainstorm ideas, but in the end this was the only logical conclusion I could come up with. I hope it brings your hours of useful pleasure. I know you and your geeky-ness will no doubt appreciate it, whether your find it useful or not. It's called a Star Tracker. With it, you can track the movement of the stars in the sky on any given day and from any given point on the planet. Because we're both above the Equator, we see the same stars, although perhaps at a different angle. I've marked one of my favorites, Orion. I find I like that one because, no matter where I am, I can always find Orion. Somehow that noticeable belt of his gives me comfort at night. I hope you find the stars as constant in America.

In other news, there was a brawl in the lobby today. Two men met for the first time and apparently had a great grievance with one another. According to the younger of the two, some half-drunk idiot, he had reason to believe the older man meant harm to one or more people within the building. Further searching of the older man provided proof, actually. He had several weapons hidden on his person, and he put up quite a fight when we tried to look for them. He was taken away by police in bullet proof vests, which we hoped would keep them guarded from any weapons we may have missed. The officer in charge said the man's name was Myror. What kind of name is that? As I understand it, he'll be locked away for a good while for his attempt to murder. Father seemed stressed after the police dragged Myror away, and he had the younger one charged too. He's charged with disturbing the peace. As far as I know, he'll spend a night in prison and be out tomorrow morning, thank God. Saved our lives and gets punished for it. I doubt he'll do anything of merit for anyone else ever again. The depravity of the world, I suppose.

How goes it in your world?

Merry Christmas and all the best wishes,

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

I'm glad no one was hurt by Myror. Your life is never boring, is it? As for the other guy, maybe you can find him and thank him properly. Make up for your father's paranoid ways and show him his efforts weren't for nothing. You may even get a lasting friend out of the deal. He probably saved your life that day. Just imagine the kind of great friendship you could cultivate from that. Be sure to let me know when you meet him again and how it goes.

Orion. I found him in the sky last night. It is a good thing it's winter and he's visible. Gwen and I drove out of the city to visit a friend she knows in a much smaller town. The stars were much more visible there, and Orion shown through brilliantly. Orion, your constant friend in the sky. I can see why you named your first pet after him. He was your first friend. He will live forever in the sky. We can look up at him together and remember.

Merry Christmas,

Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from "Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays" by NSYNC.


	15. Falling a thousand feet per second, you still take me by surprise

Dearest Morgana,

I have news, but please read it all before you worry. I was held hostage yesterday. It was an average night, but we were celebrating Will's birthday. He said he wanted to find a hot date, so we went out to a club he heard was really good for singles. Everything sort of backfired, because the girls and the boys were all far more interested in Merlin. He talked with some of them, but I don't think he realized they were flirting like half-starved sluts. Excuse my language, but I had to beat them off by pretending to be his girlfriend. Will found this cute girl at the bar. She was there with some friends, one of which was trying to woo Merlin, but she seemed very quiet and out of place. She didn't seem to like Will very much. Needless to say, Will wasn't pleased with the night already.

Around midnight, a group of men came in the club and pulled out guns. Everyone sort of screamed and things got a bit crazy, but then the girl from the bar got grabbed as a hostage and I tried to help her and I was grabbed too! Will tried to help and got knifed. He was on the ground and I just kept seeing my father, and I was crying and trying to get to Will and the next thing I knew, Merlin had leapt on the man holding the bar girl. I don't know what he did, but the guy sort of spasmed and fell on the ground. The guy holding me let off the first gunshot, but he missed cause I elbowed him in the gut. Then this scrawny guy attacked the guy behind me while Merlin went after the third guy, the leader – named Hengist. Terrible name, right? It sounds like a Viking. There were a lot of shots let off and people diving to the floor for cover, but in the end, the police showed up and helped handle the situation. When it was all over, Will had a knife wound, Merlin had a gunshot wound, and the rest of us were only harmed mentally.

The scrawny guy is named Gilli. He looked after Will until the paramedics got there. I think Will went to the bar to find a girl and found a friend. The doctor says he'll be fine, but he'll be in the hospital for a few days. Merlin collapsed after the attackers were all unconscious. Me and Freya, the girl from the bar, helped him to a chair. Freya was fretting so cutely and sacrificed her shawl to press it against his wound. The bullet barely hit his side, so he'll be out of the hospital tomorrow at the latest, probably with directions to move as little as possible. It's a good thing he's taking online classes right now and doesn't have to go to the school personally. The house feels empty without him, so I can't wait till he's back. Freya visited him this morning and promised to come again. I think she's developed a crush because he saved her life. I don't have the heart to tell her he's gay.

I meant to comment on the tidings of your life from your last letter, but I think I've given you enough to digest for one letter. Just know that I am fine. Merlin defended me like a true knight. Even as the paramedics pulled him into the ambulance he was still checking on me. Will gave me the scare, but since the doctor says he'll live, I'm alright with that too. Hopefully nothing so dreadful has happened to you.

Send me happy tidings!

Gwen

* * *

Dearest Gwen,

I'm so glad you're alright. I was reading with bated breath through your entire letter, waiting to see how you escaped and how you were. I'm so relieved, but now I'm worried for Merlin. How bad was his wound? Will it scar? Is he emotionally alright? I told Arthur what happened to you all. He went sort of rigid and now he's in his room writing a letter of his own. I'm sure Merlin will receive a letter with all of these questions as well, but please tell me anyway. And what of Will? I hope they didn't hit anything vital.

Poor Freya. I hope she isn't too crushed by Merlin's lack of interest. She sounds sweet. I hope the two of them become good friends after all of this. Merlin needs more friends. Aren't you always saying that? Well if you all come to visit, I can guarantee he'll have a few more. Besides myself and Arthur, Lancelot would undoubtedly bond quickly with him. He'll no doubt be fit for travel by the summer, but I wish him a speedy recovery regardless.

Luckily, life here has been rather smooth. Arthur is being propositioned by the lovely 'Lady' Vivian of the prestigious house of Moffett. Father thinks it's rather silly, but her father doesn't approve. He loves Vivian more than air, like he's trying to hold on to her mother through her. It's a little sad, to be truthful. Luckily, Arthur seems immune to her charms. And whenever he seems to be slipping, I gently bring Merlin into conversation to steer him back to himself. It works wonders, honestly. He always snaps back like he's ashamed of himself for forgetting. It's almost like Vivian's putting him under a spell when she's around him too much. Even if he didn't have Merlin, I don't approve of the relationship. Vivian is a posh princess with little more than bats in her bell tower, if you follow my meaning. She's cruel in a sugar and honey manner that makes me sick, but I can't do anything myself. I can only nudge Arthur away from her whims. Hopefully this news of Merlin will snap him out of her spell for good and she'll go back to her home in the Northern part of Ireland where she belongs.

I wish you the best and await more news of your days and Merlin's,

Morgana

* * *

Dear Merlin,

 ~~I heard you were shot~~ … ~~I heard you were being stupid~~ …

News has reached me of a certain party incident you had. First of all, you should be more observant of people's intentions. Letting slags and harlots rub up on you in that awful thing you Americans call dancing is not decent in Britain and I hope to God not in America. Don't be so dim, Merlin. Next time, kindly tell them to go find another flesh-peddling macker and leave yourself to yourself. Alright?

Now, Morgana tells me you took down some armed men. I must say, Merlin, you never cease to amaze me. You're a scrawny, white, med student and yet you managed to save several people from being hurt. You got hurt in the process, which does not surprise me, but the fact remains that you did it. I'm almost moved to say I'm proud of you. But for now, just take it easy and make sure Gwen dotes on you like a prized poodle… without doing your hair up in ribbons, of course. Your trip to England would be very much ruined if you went stupid and caused yourself a serious injury or infection.

Don't be stupid,

Arthur

* * *

Dear Arthur,

Thank you for your eloquent words of wisdom and well wishes. I'm sure no one has ever been so moved to make a quick recovery. I'm up on my feet again and not using any supports when walking. I'm still Gwen's puppy, if that soothes your conscience. She's been doing all the housework and cooking while I've been down and won't let me help her at all, no matter how much I insist. We went to see Will yesterday and he's still hospital bound, but he's doing better. He's not pale anymore and the stitches are working nicely. His mother's a little pissed about the hospital bills, but the insurance is helping with most of it.

I told you I'm stronger than I look. I can protect people too. And being a med student was more helpful than you can imagine. I just had to hit the pressure points and the men went down easy. Speaking of being a med student – I graduate this semester with my BS in Health Sciences. When you meet me, I'll be a practicing nurse and on my way to becoming a doctor. Now you can be proud of me. How is school going for you? Last I heard, you were only taking one class online so it would fit around you father's schedule for you. You better be passing. I'll sick Dragon on you if you're slacking.

Don't worry, Arthur. Those girls at the club don't interest me at all, and I didn't dance with them. They were just poorly flirting. Gwen kept them at bay, and we hung around by the bar. I didn't even go on the dance floor until the thugs showed up. I'm still single and floozy free.

I'll see you soon,

Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from 'Perfect' by Hedley.


	16. These Twists and Turns of Fate. Time Falls Away, But These Small Hours… Still Remain

Dear Merlin,

I feel a bit sick. Maybe you can help. You're a doctor after all. Two days ago, the daughter of an old friend of my father's came to visit. I think she brought a disease with her… or two. The first is her 'manservant', Jonas. He creeps around the corners of the house and the company, wherever she goes, like a slimy little snake I want to step on with my freshly cleaned and polished black Ashton Grey Anthony Oxfords. He sneers at me and looks like he's about to drop down dead most of the time – like a starved and over worked slave.

The other disease is much more personal to me and more physical. I was at dinner last night, and 'Lady' Catrina Parish, the daughter, was sweet talking my father like an old love. She leaned in close to him and he leaned toward her in return and… well I'm not sure what happened, but my fingers went numb and I dropped the glass I was holding. The glass shattered, literally shattered, and wine went everywhere. Of course I was reprimanded for spilling some of the $500 wine, but it was on the hardwood floor and not on the carpet so I was spared some punishment. I had to clean up the spill, though, while my father called the house cleaner and Morgana helped Catrina find something new to wear.

This morning, I woke up because of some giggling out in the hallway. It was Morgana, and I got up to tell her to take her giggling somewhere else. When I got out into the hall, I saw she was looking over the railing down to the living room where father and Catrina were feeding each other breakfast. The sight of the food suddenly made me queasy. I went back in my room and I've only just now risen, well after noon, to pen this letter to you for your consideration. I don't know how much of this illness I can cope with.

Please hurry,

Arthur

* * *

Dearest dying friend,

I'm afraid the diagnosis isn't good. Numb-hand is a very bad sign, and matching that with the fact that you can no longer look at food makes things even clearer. My dearest Arthur, I'm afraid you have a case… of jealousy. Not only that, you really don't like Catrina. You don't like the love-dove things she's doing with your father, and that's what makes you nauseous. You were afraid they were going to kiss at dinner, and your body panicked and dropped the glass. While it's a totally curable disease (simply getting rid of Catrina or never looking at your father or her ever again), it's a tough one. If your father is truly interested, I'm afraid there's nothing you can do, in good manners, to fix the situation. It's all up to the two of them. Sorry.

Jonas seems suspicious though. Maybe you should do a little sneaking of your own? He sounds like he might be stealing things from under your nose. That or it sounds like Catrina may be abusing him, which can't be legal. If you catch her in a legal debacle, you may clear up the romance between her and your father as well. You father doesn't strike me as someone who takes kindly to people of bad character. Follow the leads, but don't let presumption cloud the findings. Make sure it's completely legit before going to your father. Maybe get Morgana involved.

Speaking of old people love, my uncle has been particularly busy after work these days. He's supposed to be helping me with my research, but he hasn't been available. I followed him out the other night and discovered he's seeing a woman! When I asked him about her, he said she was an old friend from when he was a younger man. He said her name was Alice, and I joked about going down a rabbit hole, and he stopped talking to me. I guess the joke _was_ a bit out of place. I'll try to make it up to him when I next see him. Unlike your predicament, however, I think my uncle's relationship is sweet. I'm really hoping it works out for the best. He's spent most of his life alone.

Well, enough of the dreary. How are you relationships? Did the lovely Miss Vivian leave you alone? Are you still mysteriously, handsomely single?

Merlin

* * *

My Dear Guinevere,

Terrible news. Before I get to the real issue, let me give you the back story as only I know it. It will make the revelation at the end all the more terrible and you will see it for the horrible scheme that it is.

For several weeks now, my father has been in discussion with a local lord, Lord Godwyn, about Godwyn making an investment in the company. Well, I say my father, but in truth it's all going through Leon as a middleman. Father hinted that if Leon sealed the deal, he could get a promotion and Leon's been doing rather spectacularly since. Anyway, the point is that things were going very well and another lord, Lord Alined, was present at one of the meetings and grew extremely interested. He said it was such a good offer that perhaps Godwyn should sweeten and strengthen the deal by putting a personal stock in the company. When asked what he meant, he suggested that Lord Godwym join the Pendragon family through a marriage between Lord Godwyn's daughter, Elena, and Arthur! Leon has told me all the details he knows, and just today I also heard from Elena.

Our family isn't in the House of Lords or anything. We're only significant because of my father's success, but Elena and I have met before at parties and the like. When our fathers met yesterday to discuss the idea, we sat down to talk about it as well. Thank goodness, but Arthur was out at the time. Elena says she has some doubts about the marriage idea, but that her wet-nurse, Grunhilda, thinks it's a fabulous idea and has encouraged her to accept. They've heard of our family's good name and wealth, and Grunhilda praises Arthur endlessly.

But I know more! Elena excused herself to the restroom, a little distressed, and I went to find father and convince him this was a terrible idea for both people involved. That was when I overheard Grunhilda on the phone. She was talking to Lord Alined from the sounds of it. From the side of the conversation I heard, it sounds as if there's a plot involved here about ruining both the Pendragon and Godwyn names through some terrible company publicity scandal after the wedding! Grunhilda kept asking if Elena would be alright 'after the company melt down' and if someone named Trickler would be pleased to hear she helped make it happen.

I've tried to tell father and Lord Godwyn, but Grunhilda assured them she was innocent and they both assumed I was just making things up because I didn't want Arthur to get married! They completely ignored me! Which brings me to the dreadful point, I'm afraid. You've probably already guessed how this ends but… Arthur's engaged!

What do we do?

Morgana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from 'Little Wonders' by Rob Thomas.


	17. Paint Me the Colors of Sky and Rain, Teach Me to Speak with Their Voices, Show Me the Way and I'll Try Again

Dear Merlin,

These past few days, it seems like a personal relationship status is much more important than it ever has been before. Morgana used to whine about being single, but now she just whines about me being single. Father says it's time I settled down. Says I have a great opportunity. His name and money can get me in the graces of the best names in the House of Lords and improve our name in the process. I know that's important, that I could use something as powerful as a Lord's name to keep the company alive, to keep my lifestyle alive, to make things better. Still, part of me wonders why it suddenly means so much. Why now?

How do you stop something from happening when you know you don't want it? How do you stop from arriving at an end when you're barreling along the tracks headed right for it at a million miles an hour and you're not the one conducting? It isn't as simple as saying no. I've said it before and nothing has changed. How does one stay true to their feelings if the world around them is more interested in the business and logic?

For once in my life, I was certain of one thing, and I was banking on that one thing – putting all my spare time into planning and trying to make myself better for when that one thing would happen. But that future I was hoping for, that was growing clearer and more hopeful every week, is disappearing. I feel weak as a child under the scrutiny of my father and my responsibilities. I know I am vague, but tell me what I should do, Merlin. Be quick. Time is of the essence, and there is little of it to be sure.

Arthur

* * *

Dearest Arthur,

I think… Well I think you should say 'no' louder. I have to admit, you letter left me cold. I can only guess that your father is making you get engaged or married or something. I know you won't understand my feelings, but that really makes me nervous. First off, I wonder if the lucky girl knows you as well as I do or if she's walking into your headstrong attitude without the proper protection. Secondly, and more personally, I wonder if she loves you. I wonder if she knows the soft side you hide under all your talk and swagger. I wonder if she'll ever love you the way you should be loved or if it will be the façade kind of love I see in the movies, on the news, and within so many books. I hope she will love you, and I hope you love her too. People should get married for love, not for titles or power. And I think you're all mad if you think otherwise.

People should marry for love. My mother should have married for love. I mean, she wanted to, but she let herself be turned away. I know she let it happen, because I got a letter today through my uncle. He looked apologetic as he handed it to me. It's from my father. If you remember me mentioning him before, you'll understand why I was shocked. Uncle says he's always known my father was alive and well. I'm still not sure if I forgive him for not telling me. I deserved to know. I wanted to know so badly, and he knew that. Sorry, I know you don't want to know about my sob story and problems while you're having your troubles.

I hope you follow your heart, Arthur. Let me know how that goes.

Merlin

* * *

Dear Merlin,

You're right, as I'm finding you often are. I spoke with father, but he didn't want to listen. See, you were right, again. I was engaged to a lovely young woman from one of the families connected to the House of Lords. She was sweet and sincere, if not the most graceful of debutants. She was perhaps the only woman to ever ask me to race her… on a horse. Sophia asked me once to race her to the cafeteria or to the next shoe store – but I usually let her run and I walked behind her, or I went the other way. But a horse race? Not many women of class want to race horses. Well, I mean, they like to bet on horse races, but I've never met any woman before Elena who liked to race on a horse herself. Do you ride?

I spoke with Elena personally. I knew our fathers were listening in, and I asked her if she loved another. Imagine my relief when she frowned and said she did. We decided that since both of us had affections elsewhere, this marriage was silly and did not truly benefit either of us. It was a marriage of our fathers and not of us. Hearing us, my father had to disagree, but Elena's father calmed him down. He desires his daughter's happiness over her standing, he says, and he asked her who she had found favor with. If you can imagine this, she said Leon from our Logistics department. Long story short, I'm no longer engaged, Elena asked permission to start seeing Leon and got it, and Leon is getting a much smaller promotion than he wanted. Elena's father is also putting some stock in our company. Father is not pleased with me, but he will overcome it. When Elena's maid heard of our decision, she hurried off in a tiff and I have not seen or heard of her since. I think she's more upset than my father is.

But enough of me. My plight is over. What news is there from your father? This is a big moment! What reason did he give for not being around all these years? It better be a good one.

Good news?

Arthur

* * *

Dearest Arthur,

That is very good news! – for you, for Elena, and for Leon. Wish them luck for me. Now, since you asked for it, I'll tell you everything about my father that I know from my mother, my uncle, and now from him that I have gathered through my life. Warning: this will probably be long.

The first thing you should know is my father's name is Balinor Dragan. I can see your brain gears turning, because if you're as close to the upper class as you say you are, you'll recognize the name. He is the same Balinor Dragan of the House of Lords – Irish section. I'm not fluent in the House of Lords or how it works, but that's what uncle said to me and I checked it out – he truly is in the House of Lords, even if I don't understand the politics of it.

My mother met my father in college and they loved each other. Then she found out he was a lord and he took her to meet his family. Uncle Gaius says she lived there for over a year and came back in tears. I was ready to be angry with my father for whatever it was he did to her, but his letter puts light to things and now I feel sorry for them both. According to the letter, or two, he sent me in the past two weeks, he didn't do anything to my mother. He thought she left because she didn't want to be with him anymore. His brother, Lord Cenred, said my mother couldn't deal with the stress of such a public life and fled. For the last twenty years, my father believed that, but recently he's found proof that it was a scam.

Lord Cenred, or I suppose I could say my uncle, found out my mother was pregnant and convinced her that my father didn't want her or me, that my father thought it was too much to handle along with his busy life already. My mother left and my father stayed, and all because of my greedy uncle. Uncle Gaius says he met Cenred once, that he is my father's younger brother and never seemed to like anyone very much, not even his own wife. His wife is very beautiful, but she's infertile, and Uncle Cenred really wants a male heir. When he heard my mother was pregnant, I suppose his jealousy and greed won out. Father says he just found the hospital report in Uncle Cenred's files and Aunt Morgause was more than happy to divulge all the details. I suppose my uncle's philandering wasn't to her liking. 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', or so they say.

Long story short, too late, my father wants to meet me. He said he tried to contact my mother, but she didn't reply. He thinks she doesn't want to talk to him. I think Kanan checked the mail first. I wrote to him and promised to come visit soon – perhaps when I visit you – and that I would bring mother. I told him about Kanan too. I told him a lot.

Perhaps you won't completely understand, but every time I read the word 'son' in his letter, when I saw how he signed it 'your father', I was so happy. I want to know him. I want to meet him and spend time with him. Even if he isn't everything I hoped he would be, I need to see him. And maybe you can be there with me. You're fluent in etiquette better than I am, no doubt. Would you come with me?

Yours truly,

Merlin

P.s. Yes, I know how to ride a horse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title this time is actually from the officially proclaimed Theme Song of my other story 'The Rose Chateau'. It's from 'Roses' by Poets of the Fall


	18. All This Time I've Loved You, And Never Known Your Face

Dearest Morgana,

Graduation is in a few weeks. Merlin and Will received their gowns today. They are a silver color, which makes them not as hideous as the scratchy gray ones they had at my high school graduation. We had a play photo shoot with them that sort of exploded into the three of us trying on anything we could find in my closet or Merlin's that was even sensible (excluding of course, the dresses. Merlin might be gay, but he refused to put on my dresses). Merlin's mother was there as our photographer, so I have plenty of splendid candid shots. I've enclosed several. Share them with Arthur. I'm sure he'll like them. I picked the best ones, in my opinion. He probably really like the ones where we started wrestling and dog piling. My favorite is the one of Merlin after the fight, where he's fixing his hair and blushing cause Will said he looked like he'd just had great sex.

Will is completely healed from his wound, or else we wouldn't have let him in on the playing. After our photo shoot, he fixed himself up and went off to grab a beer with Gilli. The two of them have been hanging out a lot since the club incident. Speaking of which, Freya says she'll come watch Merlin walk with me and his mom. She's trying to be a teacher, so she really loves the idea of a good graduation and seeing how many people are committed to their education. She reads the pamphlet they make for the ceremony like a good book. Merlin does too, but he does it to search for names to give to possible characters in his short stories.

Merlin now has two penpals: Arthur and his father. I'm truly happy for him. He spends so much time writing letters these days that his stories look lonely on the shelf, but it's good for him. He tried to hide his joy at first, thinking he would upset me since I have no parents anymore, but I was just as happy for him when I found out as he was when he did. I convinced him it was alright and he's been exuding joy ever since – even when he says nothing at all. He'll get the mail and just smile at it like a father at his newborn child. I think if he gets a letter from Arthur saying he loves him, his heart may burst from too much good news. But it's so warm and wonderful to be in Merlin's presence these days. He's passionate about everything again, about school, about work, about his family, and about Arthur. I don't know how he hasn't exhausted himself yet.

Part of me feels the love radiating from Merlin and I think of Lancelot. I still haven't found anyone I care for here, and the summer is so close now that I can hardly stand it. Merlin and I have already booked our flight to visit, and I find myself wondering about this man you keep insisting is my perfect match. He's not suddenly going to turn out to be a prince, is he? Because Arthur's boyfriend already turned into a Lord, and knowing our crazy lives, it's entirely possible.

Contemplating love is tiring,

Gwen

* * *

Dearest Gwen,

Oh, Merlin as a Lord! Arthur is still reeling from the news. I can tell when he's thinking about it, because he keeps holding the wall at the edge of the hall and running his hands through his hair, and then somewhere in his contemplation he mutters something like 'a lord?' and then shakes his head and walks on. I think he worries now that he isn't cut out for Merlin. I mean, before it was just Arthur getting gay over an American nobody (no offense, my dear), but now he's gay for the son of a man in the House of Lords! It's entirely different in his head. The publicity, the social life, the manner in which to conduct the relationship – I've thought over it too since the news, but I'm sure he's fretting over it much more than I am.

I asked him this morning about how he was feeling. He looked like he needed to have a good lie in, but he had things to do today with father. He said he was worried about the future. Sensing an opening, I asked if it was about Merlin. He said yes, that he didn't know how to approach the situation anymore. I told him it didn't matter, that nothing had changed. I mean, Merlin is still Merlin, right? He got a title, but that doesn't mean anything. He could be like that girl from What a Girl Wants and end up living life outside of the spotlight, never becoming a full lord. I'm not sure if my pep talk helped, but he thanked me regardless and went to put some make-up on to hide his tired eyes.

Trust me. Lancelot isn't a prince by birth, but he'll be a prince in heart if you ask him nicely. But like I said, he'd still be Lancelot either way, so it doesn't matter really. And yes! I cannot wait until you get off the plane! I'll be there, waiting at the gate for you, and I'll drag Arthur along too. He'll probably pretend he doesn't want to go or even that he doesn't care that Merlin's coming, but I know he's excited to and probably anticipating it more. Could he be anymore in love? I don't think so. But it's much too cute to see him pine. I wonder who will say it first – you know… those three words. They've been penpals for a year and a half, about half as long as us, and already my brother is totally loved up. Merlin is probably more so, considering he isn't still hiding his orientation, and I'm just eager to know when to celebrate and pretend I didn't know.

You must excuse me. I was going to tell you about the scandal surrounding father's ex-girlfriend, Catrina, and her manservant. It really would have been a great letter, if not a bit nauseating. In short, the two of them were already in a relationship before she came to father. He sent her away as soon as he found out. I would elaborate, but I have to cut this letter short – or should I say 'shorter' – because Gwaine is here. Arthur found him and invited him to dinner. Oh. That's right, I haven't told you. You remember that dreadful drunkard from the lobby fight? Yes, Arthur was apparently advised into befriending him and tonight is like some big interview because even father is coming to eat with us. I hope I can make it through the night. He's attractive, I'll say, perhaps too attractive, but his personality so far has been severely lacking. Like we've always said – all the good guys are taken or gay. Oh well. Wish me luck. I'll need it.

Don't worry so much!

Morgana

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from 'Gorecki' by Lamb.


	19. I Have a Tendency to Wear My Mind On My Sleeve. I Have a History of Losing My Shirt

Dearest Gwen,

If you thought our lives couldn't become any more dysfunctional or weird, you were mistaken. My uncle De Bois is lurking around town today, and a strange woman was standing in the lobby this afternoon when I went in to see Arthur. She stopped me and told me I had definitely grown into a beautiful woman since she'd last seen me. It was funny, because I had just been thinking I recognized her before she said it. The woman said her name was Nimueh and she understood that I didn't remember her, because I apparently haven't seen her since I was young. She asked that I tell my father she was still waiting to speak with him. You should have heard her talk. She has a mystical quality to her that makes you want to listen.

When I told father about it, he said something about my uncle never letting him rest. Well you can imagine I couldn't just forget about this. I asked Arthur, and he said he'd met Nimueh but he didn't know who she was. He apparently wasn't about to hunt her down either. Well, I wasn't going to let that go so easy, so I went to find my uncle. It wasn't hard. I just walked outside and down the street a hundred yards and he was there, waiting. Now, I barely know my uncle, but he creeps me out. He doesn't really talk, you see. He mostly just watches people.

While I was talking to my uncle, Nimueh walked out of the shop behind him carrying two cups of coffee. She smiled at me and handed one of the coffees to my uncle and one to me. Then she went back in to get herself another one. Before I get caught up on details, I'll cut to the point. It seems my uncle and Nimueh are a long-time couple. My uncle wants to be a part of our lives, since he's been deprived of that for most of them. He wants to make amends, because he's tired of being angry. Nimueh isn't under a restraining order, so she's been trying to talk to my father in place of my uncle for over a year now. We went to lunch and talked, and while my uncle still makes me shiver a bit, I promised I would speak with father. I'm sort of curious how this will all go. My uncle has hated my father for as long as I can remember. We'll see how it all turns out. By the time you arrive, we should have some results.

Love you always,

Morgana

* * *

Dearest Morgana,

Families are having drama all over the world these days, aren't they? Merlin found his father. Merlin became a lord's son. You found your uncle and possible future aunt. I saw Will kissing Gilli. The world is just topsy turvey lately, isn't it? And please don't ask me about Will. I'm not in the right mental state yet to discuss that.

But there is good news. Graduation is in four days and Merlin has decided it's time for a new beginning, but not for himself. He wants to free his mother from Kanan. He tells me he's going over today after work to take care of it. Knowing what happened the last time the two of them met, I hope things go well. Merlin's a stronger person now than he was, but I can't help but worry. Good luck to him.

By the way, Morgana, you never told me how that dinner with the lobby drunk went. What was his name – Gwaine? Is he as bad as you thought? Is he as attractive as you remembered? Did you make it through dinner? He was a little valiant if he took out an armed assassin without wanting anything in return. He can't be all bad. Sorry the letter is shorter than usual, but some people from school planned a party and I'm running a bit late. I can't wait for news – of Merlin and of you and Arthur. So please be quick and write as long a letter as you need. We're so close, Morgana. So close to meeting.

Eager and happy,

Gwen

* * *

Dearest Arthur,

You told me recently that you were aiming for a future you weren't sure would happen. You said you were putting all your efforts into it. Without your arranged marriage, I hope that future works out for you. I hope it works out because I am also working for a future that may not turn out the way I planned, and I want at least one of us to come out on the other side with what we want. You also said you had affections for another, and you said I shouldn't flirt with strange people. The time for flirting is over. I think it's about the right time to say this to you, since soon our eyes could meet for the first time.

With every letter passed between us, I've been moving toward a new beginning, just as you have been moving toward your future. Something has been growing in me. My father helped me realize that this chance is too precious to let it pass me by. With that in mind, I head off today to free my mother from a marriage of violence and blackmail. I go and I hope your normal well wishes and crude 'good luck's are with me.

With this new beginning for my mother and I, I also feel it's the right time to come clean to you. See, I'm falling for you, Arthur Pendragon, faster with every letter. If you find this information to be too much, feel free to not write back, and during my near visit, you can leave me with Morgana and Gwen and avoid me. I'll understand. I'll bury it all inside. But you deserved to know, just as I deserved to know the truth all these years.

I think I may be falling in love with you.

Wish me luck, and I wish only the best for you and your future,

Yours Truly,

Merlin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from One Week by Barenaked Ladies


	20. With Every Beat of My Heart… You're All That I'm Asking For

Dear Merlin,

How did it go with your step father? He didn't hit you again, did he? Have you found out how he's blackmailing your mother? Is she alright? You didn't happen to kill Kanan, did you? Cause I'm sure my father could pay to get you a really good lawyer if you did. In which case, hopefully this letter gets to you before they find the body and take you to trial.

I honestly don't know how to respond to your letter properly. You must think of the consequences such a declaration could have. I mean, you're a lord now. Or you will be one day. You're going to move to Ireland and stand in the spotlight and meet some devilishly handsome young man or gorgeous young lady. You'll get to know them quite well, as you're want to do, and find out that in-person relations are a lot more romantic and, well, personal that anything you've felt through our letters. I'm sure you'll free your mother and meet your father and forget about me for several weeks, if not months, at which time you'll look back and wonder what our last conversation was about and what was it I liked so much about the stars anyway? And you won't know what to write to me, so you simply won't lift the pen, and then I'll fade into the, hopefully, pleasant memories of your time in college. So I don't know how to respond to such a declaration from someone meant for such a grand and public destiny.

Arthur

* * *

Dear Merlin,

I'm sure you're graduation has already passed, and I'm sure you've had time to receive and fully absorb my letter. I'm also sure you've had time to respond and send back a response. What I'm not totally sure about is how I haven't received one. You told me I could decide not to reply to your letters, but I don't remember extending the same privilege to you. If you're upset with me, it may be an even better idea for you to respond. We could work through this. Even if we can't be in a relationship, I'm sure I still want to know you. Is that enough? Am I being selfish?

Since I have nothing of your life to respond to, I will simply update what has happened here. Morgana has decided she fancies someone, and that she really wants to adopt within two years. There's some orphan boy she met on a walk around town that she fell in love with. She's been meeting with him for the past year, just getting to know him, which explains her sudden interest to adopt since then. I'm wondering if this guy she so likes will agree to the idea of children before he's even married to my sister. Good luck to his stout and noble heart. He is quite the chivalrous one, though, so he may just like the idea as much as her. I really won't know until she tells him.

My uncle and my almost-aunt have been over to eat with the family since they got through to Morgana. Father decided to give them a shot. It seems the restraining order will be amended for certain privileges, such as holidays and birthdays. It seems everyone's family is working out, assuming you finished off your step father. Send me news, Merlin, or I will have to assume you've died of the plague.

Arthur

* * *

My Dear Merlin,

Please don't tell me you died of the plague. Or by your step father's hands. Or by anyone's hands, for that matter. Please respond to my letters. You and Guinevere are meant to visit at the end of this month, and I would hate to meet on bad feelings. Or no feelings at all. You're not ignoring my letters, are you? Guinevere says she hasn't heard from you in a few days, according to her letter to Morgana. Since the letter takes quite a few days to reach us, I hope she's heard from you in that time. You're really starting to worry me, Merlin. You're worrying Morgana and Guinevere as well. You're even worrying Lancelot, who I finally met the other day.

I meant to write about the updates on my life, but I honestly can't think of anything to say that doesn't involve you. What are you doing, you idiot? Why are you doing this to us all? Where are you? I'm sorry I avoided your question. Is that what's happening? I didn't want to hurt you, Merlin. I don't want to agree to a relationship when I know you're about to find something and someone better. Knowing I can't have you is a problem. It's all talk, Merlin, and that's all it can ever be. To put words to my emotions, to admit my feelings while knowing that… It hurts too much, Merlin. I can't do it. I'm sorry. Really I am.

Please answer me,

Arthur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from All That I'm Asking For by Lifehouse.


	21. I Never Really Had a Chance, You Know, You Had Me From Hello

The lobby of the Pendragon headquarters was friendly and welcoming, unless you were there for business - in which case it was either stifling or fooling you. On the sides of the main area were four sets of circular tables made of wood surrounded by four identical, red, plush seats. The front desk was at the back by the elevators and stairs and also made of wood. It was set back farther in the room to create the spacious, awe inspiring, money-showing-off-ing feel of the lobby, and to make everything feel less crowded. This was important because of the numerous bodies that filled the area at any given point. Only about one person was sitting in each set of comfortable seating arrangements, meaning about six people were resting here.

As Morgana Pendragon stepped off the employee only elevator, she scanned her eyes across these six people. A grunt level employee stared agape at her when her shoes, simple purple flats, hit the bottom floor. He rushed out of sight and came hurrying back with her matching light jacket. Although she didn't need it, she took it from him anyway and smiled thankfully before walking over to one of the seating areas closest to the door. She set her jacket down on the table and took a seat, crossing her legs in front of her.

"I see you're still here," she said. "I would have figured you to have gone home by now. What's it been, four hours?"

"Not long enough," her male counterpart grunted. He put down his paper, which blatantly read out an American headline, and leaned on the table to be closer to her. Morgana regarded the paper with a glance and then frowned until it seemed her entire body was sad.

"Still no word?" she asked. "Gwen's letter came today, the last before she arrives. She said she's bringing Merlin's mum with her when she comes. Apparently she received her ticket from Merlin. It's the one he was supposed to use himself. She hasn't seen Merlin in weeks either. Can you believe it? His own mother doesn't even –"

"Morgana," Arthur cut in, caught between teasing and begging. "I'm sure he's alright. He'll write back to me soon."

"How can you be so sure?" Morgana asked. "He hasn't written in over a month. He hasn't even phoned, and you know how easy it is for people to find your phone number."

"I'm sure." Arthur picked his paper up again and flipped it open to the comics section.

"But how?"

"Can we just drop it?" Arthur asked, slapping his paper into his lap loudly. His fierce look quieted Morgana, and she leaned back in her seat.

"Alright fine. Have it your way, but if he's not here when Gwen arrives, I'm placing a call to the American police," she said.

"Fine. But right now, we're not doing anything. I'm going to head home. You stay here," Arthur said, setting the paper on the table and standing up. He looked dressed down for having come from a meeting before his brooding time, but Morgana didn't question it. If their father hadn't said anything, neither would she.

"Fine. I'll see you later then. I'm going out tonight for dinner," she said, placing her slender hands on her knee.

"God, another date? When are you _not_ out for dinner? How does he afford it?" Arthur groaned, eyes flickering to the front doors of the building, continuously opening and closing for the stream of people.

"Actually, I usually pay. We're not stupid. We know he doesn't have half as much money as I do. You know his parents said he would be cut off for at least another year and-," Morgana's over-told explanation was cut off by the sound of a woman yelling angrily as the automatic doors eased open again. "Oh goodness. Not another Mary Collins," she groaned as an end instead.

Arthur was already walking to investigate when Morgana stood up and grabbed her jacket. She noticed he was quite a bit ahead and huffed in annoyance before hurrying to catch up. Just outside the doors, Arthur followed the sound of yelling to the flower shop situated to the left of the company. It was an anomaly, a small building amidst all the corporate giants, but the owner just wouldn't sell the land. Said owner, a short and stout dwarf of a woman, was standing in front of her shop, screaming at the top of her lungs in her native French and motioning angrily to a shattered vase on the ground.

As Morgana made it out of the doors, Arthur jogged his way over to the storefront. Morgana sighed in annoyance, slipped on her jacket to carry it easier, and ran to follow. The shop owner spotted them coming and started causing a fuss about their stupid customers, all in French of course, which didn't help the flustered bystander who'd knocked over the vase. The man was gasping out half-words and apologies that weren't being heard and looking very anxious.

"Excusez-moi. Mon ami ne comprend pas le français. Excusez-le s'il vous plait," Arthur spoke quickly, interrupting the flow of French and catching both parties' attention. With the yelling gone, passerby's stopped staring and went about their business. It lightened the tension of the situation by bucketloads and also showed how quickly people stopped caring when the situation wasn't possibly violent.

"C'était nouveau! Il l'a cassé! Il est en morceau!" the woman cried. "It was new! Monsieur Pendragon!"

"I completely understand, Madam Davies. I'll pay for it. How much?" Arthur asked.

"Combien? But Monsieur!"

"How much?" Arthur pressed, not sounding as kind, but still being gentle.

With a sniff, Madam Davies said she would have to check with her husband and tottered out of sight into the store. As soon as she was gone, Arthur turned to the poor tourist who'd fallen into the path of the Frenchwoman.

"You really don't have to," the dark haired man assured. "I'll… pay for it."

Arthur took a deep breath to fill his chest, and Morgana smiled as she took a check book from her purse. Arthur wouldn't be paying for this. Instead of looking for the shop keeper and her husband, Arthur walked to the tourist and placed heavy hands on the other man's shoulders.

"Merlin?" he asked, though he already knew the answer.

Merlin glanced away from the shattered vase and up to Arthur, looking sheepish. "Hello?" he tried.

Arthur raised one of his hands to Merlin's face, gently touching a barely noticeable yellowed tint, where a bruise had mostly healed from Merlin's cheek. Then he gripped Merlin's shoulders and ripped him into a tense and strong embrace that Merlin returned fully. Morgana smiled, relaxing on her heels, and played absentmindedly with her checkbook. The pair of them was cuter than her and Gwen could have imagined, and she was the only lucky observer to this first meeting.

Arthur pulled back and grunted. "Where have you been, you idiot? You had us all worried! Why didn't you write to me?" he asked. He was supposed to sound angry, but he only sounded relieved. Merlin smiled.

"I went to see my mom. Kanan got in a few good hits on me, but I punched him in the eye, and he took off like a coward. I was still worried about my mom so I gave her my ticket and sent her to live with my uncle for a bit… and I went to Ireland!" Merlin exclaimed, looking well pleased with himself, Morgana noted. "I couldn't have my mail forwarded because then Gwen wouldn't get any letters either, and I figured I would see you soon anyway, so it wasn't dramatically important."

"But you posed a really important question to me in that last letter," Arthur argued, slipping his hand up on Merlin's cheek again, hating the man who'd caused the bruising. "How do you call that not important?"

"I don't know," Merlin said and leaned his head into Arthur's hand. "I convinced myself not to worry about it until I got here and got the answer in person."

Arthur looked stunned and watched his own traitorous hand closely where Merlin's skin touched it. His thumb moved over the high cheek bones he'd grown familiar with in the photos, and his chest heaved with the effort.

"And?" he asked, voice quiet. The sound of traffic almost drowned him out, but Merlin was listening for it.

"The outlook is positive," Merlin answered. Arthur scoffed and smiled.

"You even sound like a nerd in person," he said and then leaned in to kiss Merlin's lips before they could protest.

It was a quick kiss that Arthur drew back from almost before it was finished. He looked shocked at himself and glanced back at Morgana for assurance. She covered her broad smile quickly and gave him a reassuring head nod instead. Only when he was facing Merlin again did she glance to see if anyone had seen it. No one appeared to be looking in this direction anymore since the yelling stopped and then Madam Davies had left the scene. Merlin didn't seem overly worried about other people anyway.

"So you… think we could make a try at this?" Merlin asked. "Even though you were worried that I'm the son of a lord?"

"I thought you said you didn't get my letters," Arthur said, running his hand through Merlin's hair. So many letters, so many weeks of worry, and now this basic feeling was so pronounced.

"Well maybe I got one," the dark haired noble allowed. "But stop avoiding the question. Is that a yes?" and he motioned to Arthur's fingers now tracing his neck.

"Well maybe it is," Arthur answered and leaned in for another kiss.

Their lips were almost touching when a deep voice sounded and a throat was cleared loudly. Both men pulled apart and turned quickly to face Morgana, where the voice had come from. Morgana hushed her smile and turned to look at the new arrival cooly.

"I'm not interruptin or anythin, am I, Princess?" the new man asked, and it wasn't clear which Pendragon he was talking to. "These are for you," he said, and this time it was clear his message was for Morgana as he bowed and presented her with a single rose.

"Thank you, Gwaine, but you should really save your money," Morgana said, but she looked extremely pleased with the gift regardless.

"Nah. Money means nothin in the way of picking a flower for such a lovely lady," Gwaine assured. He grinned and held his hand out toward the other two. "And what do they call you then?"

"Uh, Merlin," said man replied, quickly taking Gwaine's offered hand. He was shaken forcefully and drawn closer with the motion.

"Pleasure. Name's Gwaine. So you and the prince, eh?" he asked, nodding his head to Arthur. "Good. Cause I never thought I'd see the day he came out."

"Gwaine," Arthur warned and the ruffian put his hands up in surrender.

After a brief pause he said, "Your carriage awaits, my lady, if you're prepared for dinner," again directing his attention to Morgana.

"Lead the way," Morgana said and then turned to Arthur and Merlin. "Wait up for me, will you? I want to hear all about how things went with your father, Merlin."

"Sure thing," Merlin agreed and gave her a small salute. Then Gwaine took Morgana's hand and led her off toward the street, where his car sat idling. "Gwaine? As in the drunk who saved your life and Morgana wanted nothing to do with, Gwaine?"

"The very same," Arthur said, nodding and watching the pair with doubtful eyes. "The world works in mysterious ways."

"Yes. A month ago, I was a normal pre-med student," Merlin agreed. "Now I'm a nobleman."

"So is Gwaine. He's just a financially cut-off one. His family left him to fend for himself."

"Glad to know we have something in common."

"How did you get to England?"

"My father bought me a ticket."

"Shut up, Merlin."

Merlin laughed and slipped a hand in Arthur's. Their fingers slid together, and Merlin let out contented sigh, like he'd been waiting for that since long before the letters stopped. There was another cleared throat, not as deep but definitely male, from behind them and they turned surprised stares toward the shop again.

"Grettir," Arthur sighed in relief when he saw the tiny man. "Good to see you. How much for the vase?"

"My wife fusses too much," the dwarf said. "It was a cheap vase. I'll get another one tomorrow."

"Are you sure?" Arthur asked, hand pausing over his wallet in his back pocket.

"Completely. Besides, I can't ruin this day for you. You've shown bravery, and that deserves to be rewarded." The small Englishman crossed his arms and nodded with a smile. Arthur tried to smile, but it looked lost in confusion.

"As usual, Mr. Davies, I don't really know what you're talking about. But thank you," he said.

"Anytime," Grettir said before he turned on his heel and disappeared into his shop again.

Merlin frowned curiously after him and then turned to look at Arthur. The blonde pat his wallet and then shrugged. He'd never truly understood Grettir. He was always a little bit cryptic. Maybe it was dwarven magic.

"You really don't understand what he meant?" Merlin asked. Arthur shrugged again.

"Maybe a little," he said.

"He thinks you're being very brave, kissing me out here in front of everyone. How _public_ it is. How _spotlighted_. How _romantic_." And even Arthur could pick out how Merlin was taking lines from the last letter Merlin had received.

"Merlin," he warned.

"And how devilishly handsome you are too. We must be drawing all sorts of media attention, you know," Merlin continued.

"Merlin," Arthur said again, louder this time.

"Shut up?"

"You guessed it." And they kissed in the shade of the overhanging irises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title is from You Had Me From Hello by Kenney Chesney.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Excuse me. My friend does not understand French. Excuse him please.
> 
> It was new! He broke it! It is in pieces!
> 
> How much?


	22. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem at the start is an original piece I wrote years ago. When I wrote Dearest PenPal, I chose it to be the one Merlin sent to Arthur.

Traveler – from a letter in Chapter 6. It's short.

> _Lights of stars that glitter like diamond cast stony eyes_
> 
> _Voice faraway sounding out a long missed memory of skies_
> 
> _Waves of feelings felt brushing against the distant calling sand_
> 
> _Beautiful music as inspiring as the hills around the land_
> 
> _Whispering. Breathing. The scent of something you say_
> 
> _Calling. Calling. Wind calling you home. Come stay._

\- written by me, so be gentle

And a bonus scene for always being awesome.

* * *

Morgana stood by the arrivals gate, gently fanning herself with a large white piece of paper. The heat of the day was infecting the airport, or maybe it was the hundreds of people crowding around in the building. Either way, it was hotter than she preferred and while this was a big moment, she wished it would hurry up and happen. That was one reason she hated planes. They were always delayed.

Then a large crowd of people with luggage appeared and Morgana straightened up. She held out the piece of paper, a big rectangle that read 'Sexy American Girl' in big letters and had 'Gwen' written in letters half as large. She didn't have to wait long. Gwen appeared in the crowd after a short while, and Morgana recognized her instantly.

"Morgana!" Gwen exclaimed. It was good to know the pictures were reliable enough. The black girl trotted over and released her suitcase to let it rest beside them. Walking calmly behind Gwen was an older woman with curling brown hair. "This is Merlin's mother, Hunith."

"Oh! It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss. Your son has been a great guest. They just left to grab some tea or coffee or whatever, but they should be back any moment," Morgana assured. Then she turned to Gwen and beamed.

There was a shared squeal of excitement and the two girls hugged each other like long lost mates. When they pulled back, there was a coffee beside Gwen's head and a tea hovering near Morgana's earring. They were held by Merlin and Arthur respectively. Both girls laughed and took the offered drinks.

"Merlin!" Gwen exclaimed after she'd taken a sip. She smacked him hard on the shoulder. "Don't ever do that to me again. If your mother hadn't known where you'd gone, I would have been dying on the plane ride – if I'd even decided to come alone at all. That was horrible!"

"I'm sorry," Merlin said, but he didn't look apologetic at all. "Will it help if I brought you a present?"

"What present?" Gwen asked, suddenly worried. Merlin laughed and looked knowingly at Arthur.

"Well it's more of a joint gift between the three of us," Merlin amended, motioning to the siblings.

"So, Merlin, you really think I'll like this coffee? You know, I've never had it before. I'm more of a tea guy," a voice commented as a new man stepped up into the group, eyes down and examining the cup of steaming liquid he just bought. "I mean, it smells good but…"

"Lancelot, meet Guinevere," Merlin spoke up, bringing Lancelot into the present. The taller man looked up quickly and blushed at being caught off guard. Then he seemed to blush further upon seeing Gwen.

"It's just Gwen," the dark skinned girl assured. She was flushed too. Morgana had been telling them both about each other, and she wondered if Lancelot thought she matched Morgana's description or if he was disappointed.

"I-It's very nice to finally meet you, Gwen," Lancelot said, bowing his head. He handed his drink off to Merlin and fished around in the pocket of his jacket until he pulled out a necklace. It was a silver chain necklace with a yellow colored tear drop hanging from it. Lancelot cleared his throat. "This…This is for you."

Gwen beamed at it. It was just how Morgana had described it, and Lancelot had remembered to bring it. Seeing her approval, Lancelot didn't wait for words. Instead, he stepped up to her and held it up, unclasped.

"May I?" he asked. It took her a moment, but Gwen finally understood and nodded, pulling her loose hair up from her neck. Lancelot stepped behind her and hooked the necklace around her neck. Then he took Gwen's hand, brought it back in front of her, and kissed the back of it. Merlin looked at Arthur like he may just die from the old style romance of it all. "It looks beautiful on you."

"Thank you," was all Gwen could manage to say. She was so flustered, and Morgana couldn't get enough of it. She was such a voyeur.

"Now ain't that sweet," Gwaine's voice spoke up. He was standing with his hand on Morgana's shoulder. No one had even noticed him step up with Lancelot since all the attention was on Gwen and Lancelot. "Hi. I'm Gwaine."

"The drunk guy?" Gwen said and then slapped a hand over her mouth. "Oh, I am _so_ sorry. I'm not saying that's all I know you as. I mean, I've heard a bit about you… and it wasn't all that you were a drunkard or anything. I'm sorry."

Gwaine chuckled. "No worries, darlin. I do have a relationship with the bottle."

Morgana smacked his hand then and he pulled it off her shoulder in mock pain. Then he tried to make it up to her by reminding her that he was radically reducing how much he drank for her. Hunith smiled at them and then stepped closer to embrace her son after so many weeks apart. Lancelot relaxed with the attention off him and rubbed his hands together.

"So what do you do?" Gwen asked him. Last she'd heard, Morgana may have diverted him from wanting to be a businessman.

"Hm? Oh, I'm an architect. Well, I just got a job being an assistant to one, but I'm getting there," he said. "And you?"

"Still in college. I work at the school because they work around my class schedule," Gwen answered. "Oh. I mean, university."

"No worries," Lancelot assured. "I know what a college is. You don't have to alter how you speak to talk to me." He looked around and saw how Gwaine and Morgana were still talking, and how Merlin and Arthur were greeting Hunith with lots of hugs and introductions and Arthur's hand on Merlin's side like a safety net, and then he looked back at Gwen. "You want to find a chair and we can talk while I try out this coffee that I see you apparently enjoy?"

"Hm? Oh sure," Gwen agreed, laughing softly and holding up the coffee Merlin had brought her. Lancelot put a hand on the small of her back and gently led her away to a row of chairs. They weren't far and the others could see them. It wouldn't be a great first date, Gwen noted, but it was already twice as good as any she'd had in the last six years. Almost everyone she loved was standing right here with her.


End file.
